2010 is a Monumental B'EarthDay Year for me. I plan & pray to reach the following Goals in 3 months - by my birthday on January 22, 2010:
to a Man I've Never Met,
but he still made me -- ;-)
... and then Strip For Him
with the following words that Sistah Helesi turned me onto:
*these words make me giddy...
Strip for me - by Lamar Hill
She said she wanted to have sex with strings attached
but only to her arms and wrist
Said she had had her heart broken too many times to ever walk down that road again
she said she only wanted to partake in the physical
said she wanted me to fill her chest with my treasure
then afterwords pretend as if I had never even met her
but there was something about the way her insides taste
after they had marinated over night
that made me wonder what it would take to have this woman wake up next to me for the rest of my life
to abandon my feelings of abandonment
to make every women who came before her a blur
see the fact of the matter is I want to reinvent the wheel with her
I want to find deffirent reasons to fall in love every single minute
that's why I contimplate diffrent positions to keep her interested every time i'm in it
that's why I treat her sweat like holy water
trying to absorb every drop into my skin
so when I'm going through the hardships of my day I can always revert back to her skin
so I told her to Strip for me
told her to take off that thing that makes it impossible for her to commit
and commit to getting rid of it
told her to take off the stigma of failed relationships in the past
told her to slide out of her ex man
told her to take off all the baggage, and just lie in front of me naked
told her sex was cool
but making love is sacred
forget how you stayed up until all hours of the night
wondering if he was even gone bother to come home tonight
forget the bump and bruses
the lies and excuses
the mediocre sex that he didn't even bother to shower for
cause in my eyes you a virgin
pure as the darkest night
and sure you might have given your body away a few times
but you never bothered to open your mind
so in the same way the moon has power over the sea
you have power over me
and I won't be satisfied until you come nine times
why nine?
cause nine is the number of completion
it serves notice to the creator that we have found peace within
but first I need you to strip for me
Take off all the memories of every ill fated one night stand
every failed second chance
all the nights wanting romance
take off all the misery
thinking you had to endure his bullshit
cause ya'll had history
I want you to unbutton the suffering
slide out of the doubt
cause it's all about you
everytime I walk in the room I'm consumed by the power that exudes from your womb
and he was a fool not to pay homage to a goddess
your body is timeless
I want you to strip for me
soul bare
mind open
Focused
believe you deserve love just like the rest
believe your body can be used for more then sex
I want you to strip for me
emotionally
then I want us to start new
I want you to strip for me
cause I've already stripped for you.
Unfortunately, there's no YouTube version of him reading it, but u MUST check his MySpace page just to hear a voice that'll make the ladies wanna melt....
http://www.myspace.com/lamarhill
There have been too many who have left this Earthly realm sooner than it seems necessary (including members of my family)! I may not BE The Creator (so, who am I to really say they "left too soon"?) - but, I will heed the lessons that are put around me BY The Creator!
It's been a RAINY Spring & I've noticed many facebk & twitter comments about it. My Father sometimes jokes about making sure we have sturdy umbrellas cuz it just may "Cloud up & S%$*!" How would U like THEM APPLES? LOL!
I love sunshine as much as the next "SUN GODDESS" - but I don't REALLY feel right about complaining about ANYthing that's created by MotherNature - especially since I'm SO BLESSED! Now, I'm hoping I don't have to "eat my words" because I'm taking another leap of faith and seriously opening my mind & heart to the possibilities of sharing my life w/ someone special - someone that Jesus loves & I'll try my best to do the same! Yes, I. AM. DATING w/ intentions of marriage. I still believe in soul mates - I'm just becoming a bit more active in the process of connecting with mine;-).
Here's my Melting Point Episode where I discuss taking Social Networking to a whole NEW level! Stay tuned & keep me in prayer!
Reminder:
I'll be looking to meet more Bloggers/Lurkers at the following events/parties this week:
Thanx 4 callin' in Rich: Sunday, June 15th to my evening:
BTRadio Show on Confidence & Gettin' Comfy with Self!
1) Eb The Celeb's Co-Hosting monthly!
[My Bad for flaking out on your first one, Sis. I got NO excuse in July.]
Wednesday, June 18, you are invited to Kick Off Summer in Harlem.
@ Covo Tratoria
701 West 135th Street and 12th Ave
(212) 234-9573
Featuring happy hour food and drink specials from 7pm-12am.
2) Several Writers & Artists who also Blog will be meeting me & LoveBabz at Harlem's newest, much raved about wine bar: Nectar at about 8:30pm on Friday the 20th;-). Since LoveBabz'll be with me I'll probably be more prompt than usual. LOL! If u don't wanna chance missing us - leave your email addy in the comments & i'll send u my cell number (Don't wanna miss u again, Yellow Rebel;-).
3) Organized Noise is Doing a Great Deed!
Liquid Lyrics: Words Over Manhattan -- An intimate night of poetry and spoken word. Saturday, June 21, 2008 7-10pm. Rio Gallery II 583 Riverside Drive (135th Street) - 7th Floor, Harlem, New York 10031. Admission - $10
Where ELSE can U listen to/share your poetry, mingle and support a scholarship fund raiser? His alumni association is raising money to offset the cost of tuition for students (from New York) who are currently at Morgan State University. How cool is THAT? A party with a purpose;-). If u wanna be showcased - head over to Organized's spot & let him know. I'm sharing & hope to hear U, too;-).
Le's Get this Summer Started RIGHT!! ;-)
I. am. at. peace. in my prettiness.
Peace of mind takes piece of time.
I have arrived in this purrfect place...
Thanx 2 The Creator.
I'll meet U here.
Take a load off in this comfy chair.
Kick off your shoes.
Let me run your bath water while we
Sip spirits & explore depths of each other's psyche.
Look at me. Enjoy the view.
Look into me and enjoy that, too.
I love your heavy voice and the light-hearted words flowing from your intellectual muscle.
You are comfortable with me being pretty. purrfect. flawed. at peace.
I am comfortable with me being pretty. purrfectly flawed. at peace.
You are at ease with U: purrfect at presenting your purpose to purchase your help meet.
I am at ease with U: purrfectly honored at your efforts to acquire such a help meet as Me.
Let us move on from our former selves as we disrobe and pursue anew.
Let us knead and heal each other as we slip into new waters bubbling with anticipation.
Let us wash away the grime of past crimes caused by immature ignorance ingrained by society.
Look at me glowing. refreshed. pretty purrrfectly for U. at peace.
Look at U flowing luvingly with & into purrfect for U me. at peace.
~ C.A. Paige©June2008
***MUST NOTE that I AM TOO EXCITED for The Obama Family - now tha's all the politics I'm going to mention today;-)****
Thanx to my Brother-in-law, Carlton for this wonderful video of the DC Book signing! Enjoy! Look forward to seeing U all in da ATL on June 7th for the 3rd BD, vol 1 celebration!!
Maybe, just maybe I need to give in to the need that some men I meet/date have for porn ...
Naaahhhh!
LOL!
Ok, here's my compromise. I have a GREAT imagination, so I'll help "stage" a skin-flick. Below, I'm going to list some of the BEST things that men have done for me that sent chills all up & DOWN my spine! I told the one Brother who I dated for seven (dynamite) years that he needed to write a book for the clumsy azz others I had encountered. Thanx to my inability to find another HIM -- I went into celibacy mode (no true replacement, yet... pray for me... woman cannot live off memories alone;-). LOL!
Pre/Set the stage) Start by flirting -- even if u know each other well -- go out and flirt in public with EACH other. lol!
1) Take the lead through your actions. A well placed, gently guiding hand does it for me E'vry TIME!
2) Take it slow;-) ... u gonna get yours -- just be patient...
3) Simply breath ( just open your mouth & let the heat flow;-) onto those places where u consider putting your tongue -- the anticipation will result in WALL CLIMBING!
4) Lick then blow along that wet trail....shivers guaranteed! Note: Please lick without slobbering.
5) Touch lightly and breath on any & everywhere along the epidermis... especially those places we can't reach ourselves: backs of legs, curve in lower back, back of neck, u get the picture, right?
6) Watch & listen to the reactions ... that will help set your paces...
7) Head & Face massages can also curl toes - learn to give good ones! (Fellas, this is OUR head attached to our FACES that I'm talking about: focus, please Lance! ;-)
8) A li'l teasing is fun, too. Give then retreat. Start and stop ... until the begging begins;-).
9) If u must wake us up - do so gently with incentive to join in ... ;-).
Oh! U thought I was going to spell it out VERBATIM & add images to guide U? LOL! Take those few tips and see if your partner can help U interpret. Feel free to add Toe Curling Tips of your own in the comment area! Remember, this is grown folk talk - get out the "kitchen" if you're not ready for the heat;-).
Tell 'em, Snoop! LOL!
Past Grown Folk discussions:
Do Porn & Intimacy go together?
What is Porn & How do U feel about it?
How do U feel about Porn Enthusiasts?
*click image for source.
While I encourage us all to help others less fortunate at ANY time of the year, this season it is most important, I think. This is an intensely emotional time of year. There have been studies that abuse (to self & to others) increases at this time of year, deaths increase at this time of year and depression certainly increases. It's a combination of the decrease in sunlight hours and the holidays. While you may be helping others less fortunate by donating to charities or spending time at hospitals, shelters, etc. Please consider checking out SulDog's Blog and supporting a Boston Family cause in anyway that you can. Thanx!
My newest interest is a NY born Trinidadian drummer/conga player/percussionist. AND I hail proudly from the Nation's Capital = home of dat Go Go Beat! Here in this modern day Babel, known as NYC, I find meself amongst dese Islanders (PuertoRiCAN, DominiCAN, JamaiCAN, TriniDADDY-an, etc. ;-)...
What de Lawd tryin' ta beat intuh a Gurl lak me? Hmmmm... well, unteeel ah figure it out ... let de rhydim sway...
Enjoy the new songlist I compiled (it's in progress & being built up slowly:-).
FYI about the list/artists:
Do I really need to explain Chuck Brown - GodFather of Funk and Rare Essence? ;-)
Frankie Beverly is an honorary Washingtonian:-).
Meshell Ndegeocello was raised in DC & used to play in the Go-Go Band Rare Essence;-).
TimbaLand & Cee-Lo have southern roots and I'll Be Around clearly has that Go-Go groove.
In case you're wondering how Chris Brown made the list - he's from the county next to my grandmother's home county - so, Chris, "Boo" - - u have a fan fo' lyf since u rep proudly from Tappahannock, VA. Gots to love my Virginia Southern survivors' Roots;-).
Anthony Hamilton - How can I not love a Southern Gentleman & fellow Aquarian who sings about cornbread, fish AND collard greens;-)?
Stephanie Mills - If you're old enough to remember her on Broadway in The Wiz (even if u didn't witness her live...I was too young to travel like that - but I was there in spirit;-), you KNOW why she's on this & should be on EVERY playlist;-).
Johnny Mathis - The relative after whom I was named had so many of his albums & played them so frequently when we visited -- my sisters & I literally believed that she was married to him. We laughed about that recently, and we all continue to love his voice.
Jill Scott's a Philly girl - lots of DC connections there (at least in my family:-) ... and the funny thing - Philly & DC Black Folk are more similar than B'more & DC folk and they're only 30 minutes apart -- what's up with that?
I don't have any answers either...so, let's just groove;-)
Wow. My Mom slapped me "skrait" back to reality and out of that nostalgia that I had slipped into while I was "home" for my Thanxgiving visit.
I had a much needed wonderful time with family and friends this past weekend. I mean: the food was plentiful and delicious (& since most of my family is vegetarian or health conscious - I could stay "on track", for the most part;-), I got my drink on, boogie on AND flirt on (with my girls on Friday night). One of my good friends has returned from the ATL to DC to teach at our favorite school where we met, because as she says, "They're one of the only private schools that really gets it".
As I absorbed all of that love and information my "heart" wheels started spinning and the thought came to mind: Maybe I should return to DC, too. I'll be surrounded by folks who love me and no doubt, I could easily slip into a well paying gig at my favorite school. So, I took the chance to see what my family thought of that idea as we sat around "kickin' it". I could barely form the question, "Should I move ba--??"
My mother spat out a resounding, "NO!"
Well --- I guess that's settled. LOL!
But, join me as I groove with Ahmad anyway:
A Wonderful Day in my Neighborhood. <<-- Click to read about a wonderful day I observed.
*the image depicts a wonderful day in my life, in my neighborhood: My Father (in orange shirt) with my sister & her sons. We ALL enjoyed a wonderful day at a Bronx beach.
I get it. Not sure if I'm ready to practice it, yet. But, I finally get it. I finally understand the strength that lies within vulnerability. I understand that the "strong", independent women who didn't need nobody who I have grown up surrounded by were actually afraid of being vulnerable. We have been afraid to trust the strength that is in vulnerability. I went to see Tyler Perry's newest movie, Why Did I Get Married. It was an entertaining movie. I most appreciate the fact that it sparked some real conversation with a close friend about a key aspect in relationships: vulnerability.
Generally, going into relationships I'm "looking for" honesty, commitment, financial sense, blahde, blah... After watching and discussing the various aspects of those four or five movie relationships I was made aware of the fact that I have only allowed myself to truly open up and be completely vulnerable to ONE man in my romantic past. Wow...it was a revelation to know how guarded I really have been in the past. In the discussion with my good friend, I realized that being vulnerable will not lead to catastrophe - even if the individual with whom I'm vulnerable does not appreciate me or all that I give. The worst that can happen is they fuck up my credit, spend all of my life's savings, take all of my earthly belongings including a few "cookies";-). But, those are material objects that Do Not Define me. I can always recuperate material gains. But, love, passion, faith - those cannot be gained without the vulnerable action of stepping into God's flow with another fallible human being. I already know what it's like to be broke financially. I even know what it's like to be broken hearted and to fly solo for years. Now, I want to know what it's like to fly in tandem. Creator, I'm not sure what you're planning for me, but I. think. I'm. ready. May The Creator bless you in your relationships. Thanks for "listening".
*click on image to enlarge and for source.
Stumbling, in search of ... me
Out there
Under, over...peering, digging
Living ... near or far?
Moments away or miles apart
At some point
Two hearts
Embrace.
CAPaige 2007
This is inspired by posts at Jali's House (on early memories of reading), and Organized Noise's spot (on Labor of Love). I have always been fascinated by the people who did not "like" to read. Now, I understand if individuals don't know how to read. I'd gladly help them get over that challenge. But to know how to read and not like it?! I look at those people as anomalies. What exactly is that ailment: not liking to read? Where did they catch it from? Is it curable? If I could get paid to lay around and READ all day I would be in heaven!! So, if you know of any available positions like that give me a holla!
Whenever I took on a new tutoring client, I started with a "getting to know you chat" with the child's parents. Inevitably, the parent complained that the child was having trouble in school because they didn't like to read and their eyes would roll to the heavens. I would ask simply, "Do you or your spouse like to read?" It always took ALL of my energy not to laugh at the parent's reactions which ranged from: "What the hell are you asking me that for?" to "You're here to straighten out my child, not me!" Of course, these reactions were purely communicated telepathically through body language, but they may as well have said it aloud, because it was SO clear! LOL!
I don't really remember NOT knowing how to read...yea, I have memories of stumbling on new and bigger words, but I don't recall learning to read as clearly as I recall learning to write in cursive. Cursive looked like a secret language that only my sisters & other big kids knew...but that's another topic.
I love to hear my mother tell me how good I was as a child and easy to deal with as long as there were books around. She could go grocery shopping with ease because she sat me at the book aisle and I was there when she finished (this was in the hood - where no one wants an extra mouth to feed, so child snatching was not rampant. LOL!).
I ask U - how could u NOT like to read???
*click image for its source.
Thanx to Jas who took the beautiful bear photo in my previous entry I was "introduced to" the African Beach house pictured here. I've not yet been to the Pacific Northwest. One of my dream trips is to drive cross country (or maybe around the country) to see all of this beautiful continent which my ancestors helped to build and develop. So, who's the lucky Brother who's willing to join me? I say Brother because a driving tour like that is bound to be quite intimate;-)
Click the image for its source and more information about that beautiful oasis!
I hope you can really appreciate the photo I took from my bedroom of the most recent full moon. It was absolutely gorgeous and the clouds were flirting around it marvelously. Then my "troubles" began...
And a very dear friend gave me a call after reading my past few blogs and said, "Look here! This is UNBECOMING of U, get it together!" Okay, he really didn't use those words, but he did gently let me know that "self-pity" was not attractive 'on me'. I am thankful that I have friends like that.
Then another friend and I joked that what I really need is a Brother who can "read" me and "cure" what really ails me when stress starts to get to me;-). Hee hee! Seriously, I don't think I want very much from one man, but my friend assures me that a very special man is being prepared for me by God - because only a unique man will be able to fully appreciate all of me; as well as be appreciated by me. Wow - and here I thought I was just a simple teacher who is now pushing myself to be a writer.
So, for fun I thought I'd put it out there! Below, I will give you an idea of the man that God is preparing for me. If you know where he is and he's having trouble finding his way through these tricky NY streets - help a Brother find his way home to these open arms;-).
CAP's Matching Set (we all have baggage, we just need to be paired with a matching set;-):
*Believes in a Higher Power
*Acknowledges our ancestors & understands all that was endured for what we enjoy today
*Cooperative - not competitive - with me
*5'9" or taller...i like to wear heels sometimes
*Loves to READ a variety of materials
*Enjoys real conversation
*Enjoys silence sometimes, too
*Likes to travel
*Loves to laugh out loud
*Is artistic & creative
*Comfortable with himself
*Comfortable with the many faces of me;-)
*Health is important to him - mental, physical AND emotional
*Freedom is important to him - therefore, his income is legally obtained
*added bonus if he speaks several languages;-)
*Chocolate, caramel or mocha latte skin tone (bonus if he tastes like that, too;-)
*Looks like any of the following (individually or a nice blend;-): Bernie Casey, Idris, Calvin Lockhart, Luda, Lennie James, Maxwell, Chris Brown, Common, Barack Obama, Savion Glover, The Brother who played "Bill" on the Lowe's commercial;-), John Coltrane, my exes (they were all cuties - just not my matching sets;-), Lenny Kravitz, Farrakhan, Langston Hughes, Will Smith, Denzel, Michael Jai White, LL Cool J, Capone (comedian), Mos Def, and you know there are really too many beautiful Black men for me to list here...but that was just to give you an idea of what MY eyes find Delightful;-)...
That's not too much to pray for IS it? As I'm told: With God ALL things are possible. So, I've put it into the Universe AND the Blog-o-sphere. I'll continue to hold on and trust that God is prepping this Brother/Soul Mate/Matching Set for me. And ya know I'll keep ya posted when he gets home safely;-).
Thanks again for ALL the support and love that U offer here in Blog-Land. Maaannnn, I'm glad to be back to the ME I like to BE - upbeat and balanced:-). Have a great weekend!
Just have to send love to my new-found favorite, uplifting blog:
Please go check this brother out & BE enCouraged & enCouragING: http://www.encourageabrotha.com/
Thank U for your patience. Please enjoy this 7th segment.
Here is the link to part 1 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 2 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 3 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 4 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 5 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 6 of Life, Love and Dancing.
The admiring glances I sensed on my circuitous walk to the ladies' room two levels below our dining station increased the proud sway to my hips. Hispanic and Southern men's affinity for a curvaceous figure is balm for my spirit. This rare treat of abundant veneration in Manhattan can only be found in El Barrio or The Hood. Below 96th street men prefer fragile figured women. I was initially perplexed by the fact that even Black men preferred willowy women when I moved to New York City, but grew numb to it over time.
As I washed my hands there was no way for me to know that I would be washing my hands of a lot more three months after that lovely evening. I would sense more subversive glances along my circuitous tango into Paul's entangled life. But that first night was filled with the stuff that dreams are made of. Let me tell you that I, Cameron James, have enjoyed the attentions of many a charming man in my twenty or so years of dating and interrelating. But, my frustration with their lack of commitment drove me to celibacy two years ago. I took a vow that I would not engage intimately with any man until he proposed marriage. All of those other suggested time lines proved fruitless. I'd waited the prescribed 3 months, sometimes six months. Heck, one pre-intercourse chapter lasted seven years before ending in each other's beds. After that did not lead to the altar, I altered my strategy. I decided it was time I developed a true relationship with myself. Along the way, I stumbled upon God's objective for me. My purpose was to continue the work of my ancestors. It's amazing what revelations one has without the touch of a man for two years.
I knew subconsciously that Paul was a nice diversion from my withdrawn pattern. I reminded myself as I walked back to the table that this should be fun, nothing more, no expectations, just enjoy the moments and remember to breathe. I was here because I could not hide forever from the social interactions between a man and woman by simply hanging out with friends and family. It was time to practice all that I had been studying during my intense self-analysis and Bible courses. God and his betting nemesis, Lucifer were looking down and up at me getting a good laugh, no doubt. Well, I don't think God was laughing because He is always cheering me on. I'm sure the Lord looked on with bated breath. But, Ol' Lu had pulled out his best this time. And Lu knew that despite my protests, an underlying and mounting maternal drive weakened me.
As our dinner progressed I became more comfortable with Paul. I was enthralled by his ability to hold a conversation without the typical first date questions of: "What do you do?" or "How many siblings do you have?" The talk was light but personal enough that we shared glimpses of ourselves. Halfway through the bottle of wine we became cozy enough to feed each other. I noticed some of the women at the table nearest to ours peeping at us with encouraging smiles. I thanked the heavens for this refreshing respite in my parched social program. Paul's eyes sparkled with the victory of a man who had wined and dined a woman to perfection. He practically glowed when he fed me bites of the creamy dessert. While chocolate is my addiction of choice, I will never forget the tantalizing richness of the delicious caramel flan that Paul slid between my lips. I think Lucifer lit a cigarette at that moment. If I were a smoking woman, I am sure I would have needed one. And the night was still young.
*click on image for its source.
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If you thought the first volume was on fiyah - wait until you see what's in store for the second! ALL Authors & Poets: Click HERE to read the submission guidelines, so you can "step up to the mic" and be part of history!!
