Thankful Thursdays [12 of 50]: '09 = Time 2 Shine!

Twenty-one of the 1000 Things I'm Thankful I've Experienced in My Lifetime:

221) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
I'm so thankful to be here to see a NEW YEAR: 2009!

222) I enjoyed time with family and friends during this Holiday Season.

223) I helped my mother celebrate her 7? birthday (I still have no idea the age of most of the women in my family! LOL!)

224) I have great genes! At 40+ most think I'm in my late 20s or early 30s;-).

225) I'm young enough to appreciate that I came of age with Hip-Hop.

226) I'm old enough to appreciate Classic Ole Skool R&B.

227) I'm DC raised enough to appreciate Go-Go;-).

228) DC used to be called "De Country" by some family members;-), so I'm also country enough to enjoy the "new" music genre from Da Durteh;-).

229) My life experience is broad enough that I appreciate a wide variety of music genres from Blue Grass, Opera, Gospel, House, Classical, Jazz, Blues, International/World, (easy) Rock, pretty much anything except that hard-core, head-banging acid type of rock;-).

230) That I can sit still! That "small" skill has gotten me into a lot of places & kept me out of a lot of trouble;-).

231) I'm a supah stah! Love isn't something we earn - we deserve it! Tell 'em Floetry:


232) I am loving!

233) I am lovable!

234) I am forgiving!

235) I am forgivable!

236) I am beautiful inside AND OUT!

237) I appreciate the beauty in & around me!

238) I am music!

239) I am JOY!

240) I am DANCING through this LIFE! Join me - cuz ... u can dance if u want to;-)

*Disclaimer: some of the above may be repeats that have appeared on this blog before - and tha's FINE, too! LOL!!

The First Thankful Thursday [1-20].
Second Thankful Thursday [21-40].
Third Thankful Thursday [41-60].
Fourth Thankful Thursday [61-80].
Fifth Thankful Thursday [81-100].
Sixth Thankful Thursday [101-120]
Seventh Thankful Thursday [121- 140].
Eighth Thankful Thursday [141-160].
Ninth Thankful Thursday [161-180].
Tenth Thankful Thursday [181-200].
Eleventh Thankful Thursday [201-220].

Thankful Thursday ... on Sunday: The HollerDay Edition;-) [11 of 50]

Wow! I guess my new gig, writing, reading & socializing (on AND offline;-) has kept me busy! The last time I wrote my Thankful Thursday post was wayyyy back in July. Who knew It would take me this long to sit down to write the next:

Twenty of the 1000 Things I'm Thankful I've Experienced in My Lifetime:

201) Thankful that I can be so relaxed during this economy. I am employed in a stable "field" & come from a long line of folk who know that we are always going to be ok!

202) Glad that my family doesn't make such a big deal of this merchant driven season, so I can relax and enjoy the holiday lights & my days off of work.

203) Thankful for facebook where I've reconnected with many long, "lost" friends & have even made new acquaintances!

204) Thankful for blogging: the outlet & feedback has been priceless. The relationships that have emerged from this has been incredible!

205) Thanks to my very own YouTube channel I can even promote videos of my readings & weight-loss "reality" show;-).

206) I am blessed with great friends here in NYC who've helped me make it through the trials & tribulations of this past year (& my two prior years of "partial" employment).

207) Thankful that my Blog-Sistah Sharon came to visit me here in NYC, had a blast, blogged about it & created this wonderful Smile Box Treat!

208) So blessed with the ability to welcome in new love despite past disappointments & hurt feelings!

209) Thankful that I have experienced "easy" romantic disappointments -or- have the genetic fortitude to overcome such let-downs with little damage to myself.

210) New Beginnings (new minutes, hours, days, months & years;-) are true blessings!

211) Thankful that the stories I entertain myself with are also entertaining to others! Publishing this year has taught me that (& looking forward to publishing more in 2009:-).

212) Thankful for snow! It's the Winter's best "decorative" feature:-).

213) I love Winter Holiday lights: they cheer me up during the initial phase of these shortened days. Makes it easier to get through January & February;-).

214) Thankful that this past November's election was such a landslide victory for Brother Barack Obama & his beautiful family! Thanks to the upcoming historic inaugural celebration, January 2009 will be a major party month -- especially for me & all January babies;-).

215) Thankful for the blessing of employment so that I can help my loved ones financially - especially my parents. I just realized: I'm someone's bail-out! ;-)

216) Thankful that I can be a blessing to others!

217) It seems that this year I have learned to accept blessings from others - not as easy as it sounds. So thankful that I've learned to do so in this lifetime.

218) My partners & I almost completely sold out the first printing of our first compilation project! We're gearing up for our next collaboration in 2009! See my sidebar for the Holiday Sale. Once we sell out completely, that's it: there will be no reprint! Get the collector's edition of Bloggers' Delight, Vol. 1 while U can;-).

219) Thankful for all of the folk who supported Bloggers' Delight, Vol. 1: the book AND the release parties! We have learned a great deal & are looking forward to improvements for Vol 2 in 2009!

220) Several folks have sent submissions already for Bloggers' Delight, Vol. 2 and that is such a blessing! The due date isn't until 5pm EST Sunday January 18, 2009. This level of enthusiasm is Priceless & I'm truly thankful to be part of something so exciting!

May You ALL Enjoy MANY Blessings this Holiday & Every Day!!

The First Thankful Thursday [1-20].
Second Thankful Thursday [21-40].
Third Thankful Thursday [41-60].
Fourth Thankful Thursday [61-80].
Fifth Thankful Thursday [81-100].
Sixth Thankful Thursday [101-120]
Seventh Thankful Thursday [121- 140].
Eighth Thankful Thursday [141-160].
Ninth Thankful Thursday [161-180].
Tenth Thankful Thursday [181-200].

I'm going to try this NANOWrimo thing...

I guess November is the "jump-start" month: Clocks get turned back the first weekend of November (or is that Fall forward - I always get that confused;-), the New York Marathon is the first Sunday of November, Obama will get elected U.S. President in November;-), most of us will enjoy two or three days off from work to sit around & eat in November... it's just a busy month!

Now, I'm going to add this NANOWrimo thing to my list of things to do in November. Have U ever heard of Nanowrimo? I can't recall who turned me onto it - but in the month of November there's this organization that encourages every writer to churn out 50K words = a novel in a month! The website is: Nanowrimo.org. It's a national organization that has regional chapters. The NYC chapter is having their kick off tomorrow! I'm going to stop through, meet some fellow NYC writers & see what this thing is all about. I'm determined to get my novel (novella?) out of me before my birthday, so this should help make it interesting!

So, what's new with U?

click image for source.

Thankful Thursdays [10 of 50]

Twenty of the 1000 Things I'm Thankful I've Experienced in My Lifetime:

181) Renewal! I had no blatant* refined sugar for _4_ days this week. I am renewing my vows to MYSELF, My DREAMS & MY GOALS! (*sugar is slipped into the ingredients of so many things I don't know if I can eliminate it completely - but I read labels now & avoid the obvious: pastries, putting sugar into drinks or onto anything, etc.). I feel the unwanted pounds slippin' off already;-). LOL!

182) Determination! I can make it to the fourth flight (of 6:-) at work before feeling winded!

183) The location for the NYC Bloggers' Delight, vol. 1 celebration is confirmed for Oct. 11th! That's a huge relief;-). I'm really looking forward to it. See details in the right side bar;-).

184) This is future - but I'm still hyped & glad to experience Anticipation for it: Going to a FLY V.I.P. party tonight being hosted by one of my former class-mates who I haven't seen in AGES! It's SOOO exclusive the invite says no cameras allowed;-). I'm really looking forward to the REUNION in this setting!

185) More Anticipation: I'm excited that I'm going to return to the ATL for 2nd time this summer on Friday after work for the NBCC! My first time at the NBCC;-).

186) I am loving the first month at my new j.o.b.! My new boss is so humane!

187) I know I've only been off sugar for less than a week - but I do declare I have more energy! I still need a good eight hours of sleep, but I am wondering if getting up in the early mornings will be easier for me after more time without sugar. Hmmmm, stay tuned (I recall the obvious weight loss the last time I did this - now, I'll pay attention to my sleep pattern;-).

188) I'm thankful that I am motivated to be involved in alumni activities for my alma mater where I attended grade school & high school. My involvement is my way of giving back. It is my hope to increase the involvement of more alum of Color. Attended an alumni meeting to begin planning gatherings for those of us who've moved to NYC this week: I was the only person of Color AND the only female: GOOOOOO ME! ;-)

189) I had some fantastic teachers at that school - they were so passionate about what they taught! I don't think I had college professors who were as dedicated.

190) I have great memories of my High School classes & teachers. Even those I couldn't stand were excellent at their subject (well, most of 'em were;-). One of my faves was this quirky li'l English teacher: thanx to him I LOVE Faulkner's Sound & The Fury.

191) This was one of my funniest HS teacher memories: We had a young science teacher who couldn't have been much older than us - she must've been fresh outta college. Back story: our class was infamous - either teachers loved us or hated us as a whole. Generally, we were a class full of smart-alecks who had a good time ribbing teachers. If teachers were cool they'd love us - if teachers were stringent - they tended to hate us. So, this day we filed into science class & the young teacher's patience was low. She blasted us as soon as our chatty azzes settled in: "NOBODY say another WORD! IF ANYone says another word U're all getting put out!" Whoa! We look around at each other like, "Dayummm, she must not have gotten any last night..." Generally, that teacher was cool with us, so we were surprised. We were pin-drop quiet. Then FD raised his hand. The teacher looked at him, "YES, FD...what is it?" "Ummm, what time do u have?" She went OFF: "GET OUT! ALL OF U! GET! OUTTTT!" At first we were shocked, could she be serious - was she really dismissing the entire class? When we realized that she was serious: SWEEEEET! Free period! On the way outta class several of the guys gave FD dap! LOLOLOL!

I wonder what happened to that teacher? And where's FD - he was one of my hanging partners, too!

192) I still have several of my pieces that I wrote for HS English. When I re-read them I still think they are quite entertaining & well written. My favorite comment was written on an exam that I got an A on: "She's proven she can [compete] with the best of them!" [I think he wrote compete, something to that effect ... have to dig it out & look again;-)]

193) I love when I get a good bargain & am not easily fooled! Went shopping for a new carry-on with wheels. Found a great deal on the internet, printed it out & went to one Macy's near my job. Sales dude tried to tell me it was an Internet only special. I side-eyed him & said, "That's not specified here on the print out." "Well, you'd have to pay shipping charges that you don't have to pay in stores." "Uh, thanx!" U know I left that spot with the quickness - shady jokah! I checked out the Macy's near my home and not only was the luggage the same price as my print out, but as I perused the selection I found an even BETTER deal that wasn't on the Internet! YAAYYYY!

194) I've experienced some great views! Last week, I stated how blessed I am with sight. As I think back on all of my homes I've enjoyed the views from them all. This NYC home has a wonderful sky view. My DC home overlooked downtown DC. The image above is out one of the windows of the home my great grandfather had built in "the country" during the days of The Great Depression. A nice view is pretty important to me when selecting a place to live.

195) I have appreciation for simple things.

196) I am "low maintenance", but "high brow" which I think confuses men who are interested in me. I like it about myself - but understand that it's difficult to "get". Typical gifts that gain the approval of other women is not what I need or want. I like that it will require a man to really pay attention to get to know me;-). See the video below [specifically counts 05:06-06:25] to see what I mean!

197) I am loving living this new "writer's" life - most of my travels now are writer focused!

198) I LOVE the school calendar & schedule (except for the early mornings;-)! When I got my new teacher packet in the mail today I was as excited as a kid! Still love that fresh start to the new school year after all these years!

199) I'm thankful to be a primarily optimistic person!

200) I'm SO blessed that I have TWO HUNDRED EXPERIENCES to LIST;-). Here's to 800 more! And so far, I haven't repeated any (i don't think;-)! Wooo Hooooo!

The First Thankful Thursday [1-20].
Second Thankful Thursday [21-40].
Third Thankful Thursday [41-60].
Fourth Thankful Thursday [61-80].
Fifth Thankful Thursday [81-100].
Sixth Thankful Thursday [101-120]
Seventh Thankful Thursday [121- 140].
Eighth Thankful Thursday [141-160].
Ninth Thankful Thursday [161-180].

W-healthBound Wednesdays

My goal is to live Sugar Free! I'll be weaning myself during the remainder of this summer by writing down the days from here on that I'm able to go withOUT refined sugar. Why? Check out my latest as I face a fear over at Steps Toward W-health.

Click image for source.

BlueBe Not Afraid Mondays

Been talking to my Daddy & a coupla friends (including bloggers) on the topic of FEAR. I've recently learned two new ways to look at FEAR:

F &%k
E verything
A nd
R un
-or-
F ace
E verything
A nd
R ejoice

I realize that both are valid depending on the circumstances. Below (and each Monday until I exhaust this topic;-) - I'll list some examples of each in my experience;-). I will try to balance them out -- it is my life goal to overcome most of my fears & the things that make me hesitate in life. I want to live a courageous life because too often fears are crippling and limiting. I know a man who has such a fear of going above the first floor of a building. Do you know how many opportunities and life experiences I would miss if I stayed on the ground level of buildings in NEW YORK CITY? I wish him well, but I am driven to overcome fears that have the potential to keep me from enjoying a full life.

I know that some fears are instincts that help keep us safe - like fear of falling or the fear of a gun pointing in your direction. And I know most other fears are reactions to tragic experiences. However, I want to train myself to believe there is ABSOLUTELY nothing to fear! Even God is not be feared, but should be revered! An example of overcoming a serious "logical" fear: If a gun is pointed in my direction I want my instincts to kick in and an alternative to be realized - either I'll talk the gun pointer into turning the gun elsewhere, I'll run in a zig-zagged pattern, or something. But, I NEVAH evah want to be paralyzed by fear. I feel strongly about this - especially now that we, U.S. residents live under a fear-mongering presidential regime who gets its rox off by promoting fear.

Sometimes I have felt the need to: F.%&k E.verything A.nd R.un:
1. When I encounter barking dogs - especially big dogs.
2. When I encountered snakes - especially in college - needed to walk a wooded path.
3. Flying on airplanes makes my heart race.

I'm Proud when I have: F.aced E.verything A.nd R.ejoiced:
1. Encounter the dog owners & learn the dogs weren't as bad as I had initially thought. Now, it's the owners I watch.
2. Volunteered at the Nat'l Zoo in DC & learned about snakes - even handled a few.
3. When I fly I pull out my journal and write exactly what I'm feeling and EVERY time it's helped to calm my nerves - even through turbulence (besides, where am I going to run TO once I'm on the plane?;-).

What fears are U working to overcome?

*click image for source & info. on Edvard Munch.

U wanna talk 2 me?

U wanna talk 2 me ... and the rest of the Blog Talk Radio world who may be listening? This is my new "toy-adventure" & I want others to come play along with me! I'm seeking authors, poets, and professionals in the literature world (from cover/design artists, publishers, promoters, etc.). I've scheduled two upcoming 45 minute segments: this coming Sunday, May 4th & again on Sunday, May 18th at 8:30pm EST. The segment Title: Literary Surprise! Let me know if either of those slots fit your schedule and we'll make it happen! Click on the arrow/triangle below to hear the last segment -or- click on the little person to see my BTR profile page. Check it out! U bettah git in on this while u can;-). Once I get good - there's no holding me back! LOL!



*click image for source of very cool bookcase!

Gittin' ALL Down IN it!

Here's my newest "toy"! Check it out & lemme know whatcha think! I'm new to this, so I welcome ALL feedback ;-).

Got ANTs in my Pants ... :-)

...And I need to DANCE! LOL! Okay, bear with me, Blog Family. I don't REALLY have ants in my pants - but I'm FEELIN' that antsy excitement that U feel when U know something real GOOOOD is 'bout to JUMP off! I TOLDJALL 2008 is gonna be GRRREAT!
FIRST lemme announce some of what's got me excited like:

1) The book project that I'm part of is having its Kick OFF event in St. Louis on February 23rd and I'm going to BE there (details will be posted on that site soon, I was told:-)! First time being PUBLISHED and First time going to ST. LOUIE! Woo HOOOO! Watch out Ashanti - Nelly's REAL girl is coming to TOWN! LOL!

2) The BOOK itself is going to be IN my manicured li'l fingers by my BIRTHDAY near the END of January (well ... I'll have a manicure by then, anyway;-). I guess, I should be excited about this FIRST - but, y'all know I love a party;-). LOL!

3) So MUCH seems to be poppin' off for fellow Bloggers, like: Mama Angelia is part of ZORA (which she announced over at Bloggers' Delight to Write)! Speakin' of ... THEY're having their First Readers' Choice Award for poetry. AND my Dear friend, Ced (who I knew back before blogging) & his Mrs. are starting a couple of biz ventures including his quietly launched editing site which is FLY AZZ HECK (I know that doesn't sound professional, but I'm excited for my Fam:-)! I hope I'm not "jumping the gun", Ced - but I couldn't hold it any longer;-)!

Whew! God is SO GOOD I gotta DANCE (even when I'm strugglin' ... like I still am in many ways ... but, I'm STILL gonna DANCE;-)!
* * *
Since I've been incognito most of this week from my own blog - I'm going to respond to the kind folx who've entertained my 2 previous "quick" questions here IN this post - saving u the time of clicking another link AND if u didn't leave a comment feel free to skip this part;-). As ALWAYS - I appreciate and adore EVERYone who takes the time to read my blog. AND extra HUGZ to those who take a minute to acknowledge my blog-thoughts by leaving comments, calling, emailing, texting, etc. :-)

Ced - not a morning person, huh? LOL! I know u're glad to be a civilian again;-). Since partial employment gives me SO much free time - I haven't figured out my sleep pattern since no job to structure it. I'm all over the place & for now - I'm COOL with IT! I'm so glad I could convince u to come outta MySpace for a bit & I hope it has helped!

Dave J - U only write at home, huh? Well - when do u get OUT - cuz U r one prolific CAT! ;-). But seriously, it's funny that u say that. I met Colson Whitehead at a book signing last year. When I asked him about writing colonies he said he prefers home to any other place.

FemiGog - I tend to be a night owl for the most part, too. But there are some mornings when I just wake up singing halleluyah;-). I need to get better about jotting notes through out the day though - but I'm so nosey I'm easily distracted;-). I'm not sure any more - blogging went from being therapeutic to being an addiction. LOL!

Miz - At the airports? Hmmm - I need to hang out with U more often - but as I told Femigog: nosey me wouldn't get much done - too busy watchin' the comings and goings;-). And your blog IS appropriately named - cuz it's LIVELY for the life of U;-).

Bro G - u write IN TRAFFIC?! Lawd, please be careful...a good friend of mine was recently in a car accident (she's fine - just shaken & slightly fractured nose). U seem to maintain integrity & creativity as far as I can see on your blog. I wish I had more time to dig into most of my fave bloggers' archives. Thanx - I'm trying to figure out my comfort zone - I know I'll get it -- or -- is this it? ;-)

Anali - U not a morning person, either huh? LOL! Finding time can be tricky. I have "plenty of time" now and I still "need" more! LOL! I love your intelligently eclectic mix of a blog - I tend to get hungry when I go there, too! It's been a wonderful experiment that I hope will last 4evah!

SulDog - I need one of those jobs where I can be on the internet while on the clock;-). In teaching - there's ALWAYS somebody crying for your attention. LOL! And THANK your wife for encouraging U to blog for me - u r a treat!

Nicole - U're right - writing in bed is NOT good for me ... sometimes I wish I could write in my sleep;-). I started blogging to clear my head before writing - then the blogging became the writing. LOL!

Lisa Q. - U r TOO funnee! Started off giving advice now you're getting it, huh? LOL! Don't worry 2008's gonna be great! I'm keeping u in my prayers (& please keep me in yours;-).

David - Cuz! And interesting archives, comments, politicizing, etc., they are:-).

Amn.eris - Hey Girl! I need YOUR job since u can do all that! U tellin' all that kinda biz? No wonder all your spots are invitation only (and uh...can i get an invite?;-). U going to the ABC Black tie? U singing in it? ;-)

Mega Rich - Ohhh! So, U used to be simply talking trash like Lance! LOL! Hmmmm, extinguishing demons??? I need to read more carefully;-).

Nina - WELCOME to my world:-). Hey - no time for guilt - we all know that time is limited (I'm STILL wondering how those folx who get hundreds of comments actually respond to them all - even if they ARE professional bloggers...sheesh;-). And congrats on the new baby - is this your first?

Brother All-Mi-T - an' whas'sonever yo' cuntree azz writes about U know we luvin' it;-).

Ms. Behaving - Happy New Year to U, too GrammaFlyAzz! Reading your blog helps me stay sane, too! ;-) U know I'm working out so I can BE in Carnivale in 2010 cuz of U;-).

Eb the Celeb - U go, Ms. CEO! Wow - U in that entertainment industry - my hat's off to u & your patience. I need to come thru your spot - do u post any of your poetry? Happy New Yr 2 u, too!

Diva!!! - even when u vent it's entertaining;-). LOL!

Mel - U do spread the spirit of God's love very well, too! Now, I'm not trying to convince U - but I have learned that The Creator wants us to enjoy abundance in many areas of our lives - so, if I were given an offer to earn money for doing what I do anyway - without dancing to someone else's tune - I would certainly tithe 10% of the income I gained. Thank U for the blessings - I need all that are bestowed upon me:-).

Zay!! - WELCOME and no worries, my good friend;-) I'm just glad to make you're acquaintance. U give an "ol' playette" like me hope that I, too will find REAL love/my soul-mate - regardless of my history;-). And WoW! U found a publisher through blogging? That's great! I know I'm excited to be part of the book project that came as a result of blogging, too:-).

*Going to add all the Newbies to my blog roll, now so I can check out YOUR spots!

HUGZ EveryBody!!

Click image for its source.

Quick Question 4 my Blog Fam;-)

What's the Purpose of your Blog?

Do U blog to Vent, Entertain, Network, Meet someone spesh, Motivate others, Promote your biz, etc. ... ???
Initially, I began blogging in order to climb out of my creative closet & share my work with others who did not know me (when I share with family and friends they say nice things cuz they have to love me;-). When I began interacting with other bloggers my blog seemed to change every time I was influenced by one of your blogs;-). I think I'm going to return to my original blogging purpose: a place to share my creative works in progress for feedback from folk who don't know me too personally;-). One day you'll look back and say: "I actually commented on a bit of her 1st (or 10th;-) best-selling novel!" -or- "I remember some of that piece! She changed it a bit thanks to bloggers' comments.";-)

What about U? What do U use your blog for?
*click image for source.

Quick Question for my Creative Writing Fam;-)

When is your chosen writing time of day or night?

*Do you push yourself to rise before the rest of your household, crawling outta bed at the unGodly hour of 5am or earlier?
*Do you squeeze in time between other tasks - snatching a few minutes here and there?
*Do you write while doing other things, in meetings, talking on phone, etc.?
*Do you wait until everyone else in your house/neighborhood is sleep and stay up 'til the early dawn?

I've been playing 'round with different times and am just curious to know what works for the rest of youse guys;-). Write On! Write On!

*click image for source.

Where in the City is CAP?

Several have asked what I'm doing in hiding.

Here it is:

*Seeking employment -- when did it take this long (2 months & counting) to simply find a salaried J.O.B. where I have no desire to battle with supervisors' egos past quitting time? Give me a shout if you know anyone who wants a receptionist, admin. asst. or any other position filled that an educator/developing writer can handle without too much emotional output. How do I tell an employer nicely that I just want to cover my living expenses and go home to my books after giving them 8 hours of me (or did I already do that by posting it on this blog;-)?

*Writing, Writing & WRITING. Several different projects going on at once and this job search is getting in the way. LOL! Check out a new li'l spot & motivator I found: NaNoWriMo. Oh, yea - Reading, too - but that seems to be synonymous with Writing. LOL!

Climbing back into my lock-box, now...whew! Who knew this could be so all consuming? ;-)

*click image for source - female escape artist

Spontaneous 3am brain-splosion...

Stumbling, in search of ... me
Out there
Under, over...peering, digging
Living ... near or far?

Moments away or miles apart
At some point
Two hearts
Embrace.

CAPaige 2007

Pull Back Action's necessary!

**First, Let me wish my Muslim & Hebrew readers a Happy Holiday season (Ramadan & Rosh Hashanah/YomKippur, respectively).
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When you were a child did you ever have the joy of playing with toy cars with pull back action? Do you ever have the opportunity now, as an adult, to join kids who still find joy in those cars? If you did, then return with me to those 'thrilling days of yesteryear'. If you didn't, then come go with me and live vicariously;-).

As a young girl, I was proud of the fact that I could make the best engine roaring sound in the back of my throat as my male cousins and I pretended to shift gears in our respective race cars. I am still proud that I can make that sound...though, now my "engine" purrs softly more often than she roars (but ... I digress;-). We competed over cars that we saw as we drove, uh, I mean rode with the rest of our family. "That's my car!" was the scream we'd release whenever we saw a sports car or a muscle car. We were serious! My heart would actually ache if my cousins claimed a sunshine yellow 'Vette, a fierce purple GTO, or a hot red Spider before I saw it! I had as many toy cars as I had dolls. Race tracks were cool, too. My eldest sister had a wicked, realistic 007 race track that I was too young to operate. But, I spent many gleeful hours salivating as I watched the cars fly through tunnels, past miniature trees and twisting around sharp mountain curves! Yet, with all of that...my favorites were the cars with the pull back action.

Cars with pull back action needed no batteries and were free to go as far as you could wind them up. Of course, the more you pulled it back the faster and farther the car could go! But, the pull back action required a special touch. You had to be careful not to pull it back too far or the mechanism would break and the car would get stuck.

This year in my life has taken me back to those days of pulling back. I've been blessed to have the opportunity to step off the fast track and really listen to myself. There were times when I thought I was stuck. I didn't understand it. But, The Creator reminded me that I never focused with worry on the pull back as a child car fanatic. I simply delighted in the fast forward result. Instead of fretting when a car broke, I became better at listening to my cars so that I wouldn't damage the replacements. He assures me that all my mechanisms still work and I am merely down shifting as I gear up. I can't wait to screech into the new curves, roll out then zoom around life's mountains. I'm not sure how fast or how far I'll go, yet - but I am SO READY to ROAARRR Forward! What a thrilling ride this life is! It's great to remember what made us smile as children;-).

Hey, I hope u can keep up! Haaa Haaaaa! I'll try to take periodic pit stops and update ya here on Blog Boulevard;-).

Vrrrroooom! Vrrrrooooooom! Sccccrrrreeeeeeeech!

And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. ~ Matthew 18:3, KJV

*click images for source & to find out where you can get the toy cars when u click top photo!

Wednesday Wisdoms

Welcome Back for Wednesday Wisdom vol. 15

After surviving a 'funky' period, which may have been caused by atmospheric pressure - considering this crazy weather and the fact that I learned that several BlogFamily members went into a funk at about the same time:-). Not that I'm shirking my responsibility to pulling myself out of such emotional bogs;-). I feel GREAT, now and have gotten hyped by some of the dialogue that I've read here in the Blog-o-sphere! So, I dug through some of my motivational writings to share this with you:

"To deny that we are gifted is perhaps to indulge in false humility, which allows us to shirk our responsibility to The Gift."
~ Deena Metzger - author of Writing for Your Life

Feel Free to share your thoughts on today's selection!

*click on image for source

Blame & Praise the Moon:-)

I hope you can really appreciate the photo I took from my bedroom of the most recent full moon. It was absolutely gorgeous and the clouds were flirting around it marvelously. Then my "troubles" began...

And a very dear friend gave me a call after reading my past few blogs and said, "Look here! This is UNBECOMING of U, get it together!" Okay, he really didn't use those words, but he did gently let me know that "self-pity" was not attractive 'on me'. I am thankful that I have friends like that.

Then another friend and I joked that what I really need is a Brother who can "read" me and "cure" what really ails me when stress starts to get to me;-). Hee hee! Seriously, I don't think I want very much from one man, but my friend assures me that a very special man is being prepared for me by God - because only a unique man will be able to fully appreciate all of me; as well as be appreciated by me. Wow - and here I thought I was just a simple teacher who is now pushing myself to be a writer.

So, for fun I thought I'd put it out there! Below, I will give you an idea of the man that God is preparing for me. If you know where he is and he's having trouble finding his way through these tricky NY streets - help a Brother find his way home to these open arms;-).

CAP's Matching Set (we all have baggage, we just need to be paired with a matching set;-):
*Believes in a Higher Power
*Acknowledges our ancestors & understands all that was endured for what we enjoy today
*Cooperative - not competitive - with me
*5'9" or taller...i like to wear heels sometimes
*Loves to READ a variety of materials
*Enjoys real conversation
*Enjoys silence sometimes, too
*Likes to travel
*Loves to laugh out loud
*Is artistic & creative
*Comfortable with himself
*Comfortable with the many faces of me;-)
*Health is important to him - mental, physical AND emotional
*Freedom is important to him - therefore, his income is legally obtained
*added bonus if he speaks several languages;-)
*Chocolate, caramel or mocha latte skin tone (bonus if he tastes like that, too;-)
*Looks like any of the following (individually or a nice blend;-): Bernie Casey, Idris, Calvin Lockhart, Luda, Lennie James, Maxwell, Chris Brown, Common, Barack Obama, Savion Glover, The Brother who played "Bill" on the Lowe's commercial;-), John Coltrane, my exes (they were all cuties - just not my matching sets;-), Lenny Kravitz, Farrakhan, Langston Hughes, Will Smith, Denzel, Michael Jai White, LL Cool J, Capone (comedian), Mos Def, and you know there are really too many beautiful Black men for me to list here...but that was just to give you an idea of what MY eyes find Delightful;-)...

That's not too much to pray for IS it? As I'm told: With God ALL things are possible. So, I've put it into the Universe AND the Blog-o-sphere. I'll continue to hold on and trust that God is prepping this Brother/Soul Mate/Matching Set for me. And ya know I'll keep ya posted when he gets home safely;-).

Thanks again for ALL the support and love that U offer here in Blog-Land. Maaannnn, I'm glad to be back to the ME I like to BE - upbeat and balanced:-). Have a great weekend!

Life, Love, Dancing...an excerpt - pt 7

Thank U for your patience. Please enjoy this 7th segment.

Here is the link to part 1 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 2 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 3 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 4 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 5 of Life, Love and Dancing.
Here is the link to part 6 of Life, Love and Dancing.


The admiring glances I sensed on my circuitous walk to the ladies' room two levels below our dining station increased the proud sway to my hips. Hispanic and Southern men's affinity for a curvaceous figure is balm for my spirit. This rare treat of abundant veneration in Manhattan can only be found in El Barrio or The Hood. Below 96th street men prefer fragile figured women. I was initially perplexed by the fact that even Black men preferred willowy women when I moved to New York City, but grew numb to it over time.

As I washed my hands there was no way for me to know that I would be washing my hands of a lot more three months after that lovely evening. I would sense more subversive glances along my circuitous tango into Paul's entangled life. But that first night was filled with the stuff that dreams are made of. Let me tell you that I, Cameron James, have enjoyed the attentions of many a charming man in my twenty or so years of dating and interrelating. But, my frustration with their lack of commitment drove me to celibacy two years ago. I took a vow that I would not engage intimately with any man until he proposed marriage. All of those other suggested time lines proved fruitless. I'd waited the prescribed 3 months, sometimes six months. Heck, one pre-intercourse chapter lasted seven years before ending in each other's beds. After that did not lead to the altar, I altered my strategy. I decided it was time I developed a true relationship with myself. Along the way, I stumbled upon God's objective for me. My purpose was to continue the work of my ancestors. It's amazing what revelations one has without the touch of a man for two years.

I knew subconsciously that Paul was a nice diversion from my withdrawn pattern. I reminded myself as I walked back to the table that this should be fun, nothing more, no expectations, just enjoy the moments and remember to breathe. I was here because I could not hide forever from the social interactions between a man and woman by simply hanging out with friends and family. It was time to practice all that I had been studying during my intense self-analysis and Bible courses. God and his betting nemesis, Lucifer were looking down and up at me getting a good laugh, no doubt. Well, I don't think God was laughing because He is always cheering me on. I'm sure the Lord looked on with bated breath. But, Ol' Lu had pulled out his best this time. And Lu knew that despite my protests, an underlying and mounting maternal drive weakened me.

As our dinner progressed I became more comfortable with Paul. I was enthralled by his ability to hold a conversation without the typical first date questions of: "What do you do?" or "How many siblings do you have?" The talk was light but personal enough that we shared glimpses of ourselves. Halfway through the bottle of wine we became cozy enough to feed each other. I noticed some of the women at the table nearest to ours peeping at us with encouraging smiles. I thanked the heavens for this refreshing respite in my parched social program. Paul's eyes sparkled with the victory of a man who had wined and dined a woman to perfection. He practically glowed when he fed me bites of the creamy dessert. While chocolate is my addiction of choice, I will never forget the tantalizing richness of the delicious caramel flan that Paul slid between my lips. I think Lucifer lit a cigarette at that moment. If I were a smoking woman, I am sure I would have needed one. And the night was still young.


*click on image for its source.

Please Pray for Me

Heaven Help me and my newest dilemma!

I am ending a year of respite away from the only career I have ever known up to this point in life: Teaching. I have taught all levels of grade school: from 3 year olds in day camps to seniors in high school. I have even taught other teachers a few courses or seminars.

Here's my dilemma - my savings and alternative re$ources are running low. I am in need of a new salaried position until my writing, motivational speaking/coaching career takes hold and prospers! Now, if I could simply go in teach the kids and go home - I would LOVE to return to teaching. But, I am dreading this need to return to:
1) BS administrators who don't leave u the heck alone! U hired me - let me do what I do - especially since I'm not paid the salary of an attorney or doctor to take on your ISSUES (most of which are personal)!
2) Parents who can't handle the one, two or three bad azz kids that they spawned - but gonna get up in MY face because they don't think I'm handling a classroom FULL the way they think I should!? BeeeeACH Puh-leeeeze! When your kids are flawless - THEN we can talk. Otherwise, STEP OFF!!

Now, don't get me wrong - my many years of teaching were not ENTIRELY & solely filled with the above two challenges - but those are the two reasons I'm dragging my feet on sending out my resume and making the necessary calls.

I could not have lasted in teaching as long as I did without the love and support of the few "soldiers" around me who cheered me on directly or through their own example! So, I must send out BIG Hugz to the many GREAT & supportive administrators, teachers, students and parents I've met in my years of teaching. My overall most supportive teaching environment was in DC at my alma mater. I swear if I could commute from DC to NYC I would hop back to that school in a Heart BEAT! In the years that I've taught in NYC I've met supportive and encouraging individuals, for which I'm so thankful. There was ONE overall supportive NYC school where I taught in an All-Boy environment for the first & only time. I'd return to them if a full-time position opened up. So, why am I "allowing" the bad to out-weigh the good? Well that leads to...

Another dilemma I'm having is - Do I have to go back to teaching simply because I need immediate income? What other positions can a teacher transfer her skills to? If u have suggestions please also leave a few leads.

Thanks in advance for any support and information you can offer.

Regeneration: Rising from My Ashes

I stated on July 10th that I will be focussed on My Regeneration. The Creator awoke me again this morning which is a signal that He's not through with me, yet!

Many things on my list may sound simple, but it's simplicity which challenges me greatly:

5 Specific Tasks to Complete in order to reach divine Health & Wealth for this coming week:
1. Sort & Organize my papers (3 bags done this week, approximately 3 more to go).
2. Write out each debt (then maintain regular bill paying routine twice monthly).
3. Get up by 7am each morning and sit quietly - give Thanx for another opportunity to Get it Write.
4. Practice my Ten for Ten exercise routine each day.
5. Write a daily To Do list and adhere to it!

Reading through my Runner's Blog I found renewed motivation about Will Smith & Ali and hope it motivates U, too!

I do appreciate any and all support that U care to offer. Next Saturday, I look forward to posting my successful adherence to my ACTIVE self-regeneration!