How would U feel?

The logical side of my brain says, "Let it go." And for the most part, I think I have. But, every so often, like a passing bad scent, a memory is evoked that "calls up" this unpleasant experience.

This is a true story. If you were on this trip and are reading this I hope you can understand just how hurt I was behind this. I'm not writing about this to call anyone out, but to get it out of me - hopefully, once and for all. I tend to be Happy Go Lucky, but on those rare occasions when my feelings do get hurt I am more puzzled than anything.

About four or five years ago some friends and I planned this fabulous trip to Jamaica! We were fairly frequent visitors of the island because it is so beautiful and not too expensive (at least, those were my reasons;-). We became comfortable ignoring the pleas to braid our hair, purchase ganja, or any number of items being forcefully sold, so we could really enjoy the sun, beaches, food, and wonderful people. But, what made this particular trip fabulous is the fact that it was our first trip back to Jamaica since I'd moved to NYC, so we were going to meet at our resort. That minor fact, made me feel extra grown and sexy! I had visions of me as Angela Bassett/Stella;-). We were even treating ourselves and staying at one of the newest and highly acclaimed resorts completed in MoBay that year!

Generally, I like to make my own travel plans, but one of our girls assured me that her travel agent could handle it. The flight was more expensive than I expected to pay, but in the spirit of the trip, I was going with the flow. "Everyt'ing would be irie!"

I arrived in Jamaica in the evening. Initially, that bothered me because I like to arrive at vacations as early in the day as possible and leave from the location as late as possible. That pattern of travel makes me feel as if I've earned extra vacation days. But again, "everyt'ing was irie!" As my plane landed I enjoyed some of the most beautiful colors I've ever witnessed naturally. The sky was shades of blue with streaks of deep lavenders and fuschias. There were also distant flashes of lightening and I love watching lightening storms, especially, since we were safely on the ground. I sent up thanks to the heavens for this evening flight that allowed me to witness such wonders.

I was shuttled to the resort, left my bags with the front desk, asked them to point me to their bar and just as I envisioned: my girls had secured a spot and the party was on! The rest of the stay was uneventfully cool. I did my best to take full advantage of the sun, the spa services and the delicious drinks;-). There was some tension in our group, but what do you expect when so many women travel together? This one wants to go to this place, that one wants to take that tour, etc. I was going with the flow, cuz "everyt'ing was irie."

Then we left to return to the States...maybe if we had different flights this would not have been an issue. But, I walked toward the long line for coach and my girls all head toward First Class, so I started thinking that maybe they had to ship something and they are walking past the First Class station. I notice that a couple of my girls got really busy looking in their purses or fiddling with their packages. And the one who made the travel arrangements began to "fast talk" me: we'll just tell them that you're with us and you need to change your ticket. I. felt. like. crap. I had been duped, hoodwinked, bamboozled and I stood there at the counter with "my girls" and was made to feel like they were doing me a "favor" by "attempting" to upgrade the ticket of their nanny, or maid or some shyt! The fact that I was dumbfounded and speechless made me really look like I was a non-English (or any intelligible language) speaking 'servant'. The ticket agent did allow me to board with First Class, saving me further embarrassment of walking to the back of that long azzzz line, but DAYUM.

I was too hurt to cry. I didn't even know what to say. I talked it over with one mutual friend a week after I returned home. It was suggested that I speak to my "best" friend of the group, ask her why no one told me that tickets were being up graded to First Class. Why wasn't I given that option? I may not be "paid" yet, but I've got good credit! I don't generally like confrontations. I tried to sound casual when I asked my "girl" what was up with the travel arrangements? It was "brushed off" quickly: "Oh, you know how So&So is." And that was the end of it - the conversation changed. No apologies or explanation for the fact that I was IN JAMAICA with these chicks for SEVEN days and NOT one of them could give me a head's up. Heck, I could've upgraded from the hotel, or something! At the very least, I wouldn't have stood there like BooBoo the DaYum fool.

I know it was years ago, but every time I get a reminding 'whiff' of that trip, my stomach aches slightly all over again. Needless to say, that is not one of the trips we recount fondly, nor have I ever let anyone else make my travel arrangements. Of course, it also crosses my mind that the reason my flight ticket was so expensive was because I paid for their DAYUM First Class Tickets. It should not cost that much to get from NYC to Jamaica round trip. NYC is dayum near a Jamaican annex!

I do hope that if I've ever hurt anyone's feelings who I consider dear to me, I would be woman enough to apologize if they asked me why I did it. Sadly, it has cooled my relationship with those sistahs. Or maybe I had done something that changed our relationship without my knowing it before the trip? If so, why didn't anyone say anything?

So, tell me, how would U feel?