I'm often told that I am blessed to be free & single. I should take advantage of my ability to 'move about the world freely'. I really DO feel blessed to be able to do all that I can and to have experienced all that I have. I've grown quite comfortable being alone and take many things I do for granted until I meet others who tell me they'd "never" do that.
I am comfortable doing the following things alone:
* Going to restaurants - a good book is my best friend:-).
* Having a picnic in Central Park.
* Going running in most populated parks where there are other runners
* Traveling as a member of a larger group even if I don't know the individuals in the group.
* Driving long distances.
* Flying to another city or island to meet friends, take a taxi or rent a car and find my way to our designated meeting location.
* Going to poetry readings - artsy people are often solitary, anyway:-).
* Going to bars - (I just pretend my friends stood me up and leave after about an hour:-)
* Going to movies - especially independent films
Places I'm not yet comfortable "flying solo":
* Sporting events
* Going skating in Central Park, Rock Creek Park, or any park - who will be there to help if I bust my tail (or is that my fear-cover upper:-)?
* Going to concerts
* Traveling to a new country
*click on image for its source.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Flying Solo
Moved by The Creator, Merely posted by CapCity at 8/04/2007
Labels: at peace, blessings, self awareness, self discovery
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19 Comments:
I was having this conversation with some co-workers the other day. I'm cool going to a park, fast food restaurant, movie or sporting event by myself. I'm also cool travelling by myself (like I'll be doing next weekend). I have yet to master dinner for one, concerts, or bars.
I was talking to my friend Yolanda the other day and she said I should try to do more things alone..she also said that I would probably meet more men this way since men are more intimidated by a group of woman than a solitary one.
Wow, O.N. - I think a sporting event would be more difficult than dinner for one. What type of sporting events do u attend alone & what's it like?
Xcentric - sometimes i think men are intimidated by solo women b'cuz of the confidence...have not yet figured men out & i've stopped trying;-)...just do what U like. i started doing solo activities cuz i got tired of waiting for others to do things I like to do:-).
Oh my goodness, why are we on the samewavelength. LOL. I was just thinking about places I would not like to go alone. I do alot by myself and it can be boring sometimes. And a lil lonely at times. I have went to nice restaurants by myself and felt fine. I just notice now it is getting old going out by myself.
I do have bookclub and we meet once a month if things don't come up. I have a ball and then I am fine. I think I need to have periodic times out with others. Plus it does help with my creative juices to interact with others.
Even though my son is truly a blessing to me, I kind of miss my days of flying solo. I was the same way. Going places and doing things by myself meant I could concentrate on my own thoughts, without any interruptions.
I so agree with you about going to the movies alone and especially the indie flicks! It's kind of a treat actually. I do admit that I do the matinee or afternoon shows only. I wouldn't feel comfortable on a Friday or Saturday night by myself.
My best laugh of the weekend: your saying "fear-cover upper"...LOL!
I spent a good portion of my life as a loner from pure necessity--the life of a latchkey older brother, I guess. Thanks to military time, I learned how to handle group things--bear in mind that my favorite sports are mainly solo efforts like Asian martial arts and American boxing--but I still prefer the solitary way. I like the freedom of choosing for myself alone where to go, what to eat, and how to enjoy my own time. I'm learning how to open the way for others to join me, though.
I've gone to both basketball and baseball games together. Last year, I even went to my first college football game alone. It's not as bad as it seems because once you get in the stands, its easy to strike a conversation with someone else . . . and as long as you are rooting for the same team, you are never really alone.
Shai - at least u have been comfortable being alone i've learned not everybody is...
Hottnikz - GURRRL, by the time i'm blessed w/ soulmate & child i will miss NOTHING about being single. don't even think i'll look back w/ nostalgia - other than: glad I was able to do it & glad i no longer have to. LOL!
Anali - surprisingly, here in nyc there are theaters where I will go on the notorious date-nites:-)...besides the fact that manhattan doesn't even HAVE matinee prices :eyes-rolling: LOL!
Ced - what's shakin'? glad u find humor in my angst;-). lol! i've been flying solo for so long i no longer feel much peer pressure & continue to eat what i want even w/ groups...i'm also learning to make room for others:-)
Bro ON - hmmmm, i gotta try the sporting event at least once...maybe a yankees game - baseball's the only sport i can really follow & show interest. At basketball games i'm busy watching the crowd. football bores me w/ it's many stops & starts...at hockey games i'm so into the fights i could care less about the game - besides no brothers to meet there! lol!
I know. SMH. I know a few men and women who just cannot be alone AT ALL. Some of them scare me and make sad.
On the above note, I have a few family members, as well as friends who cannot be alone. I mean, cannot even go to Chili’s or TGIF for dinner or a cocktail be themselves. One thing I notice is they get in and out of relations and are always on the rebound.
My advice to 2 in particular has always been to find yourself, before finding someone else.
It is always good to feel comfy in your own skin. Love your page!
Happy Sipping!
Dezel
Im not comfortable going out alone. I feel invisible and that registers on my face.
I know its something that I have to get over being in a new city and all. I just feel more comfortable in a group.
The only thing that I enjoy doing alone is shopping.
Shai - all we can do is pray for those folk!
Dezel - Hey! Always good to see ya. I am always curious about people who can swing from one 'ship to the next. I never seem to meet that many men. LOL! And I've never known how to 'wrestle' a man into an "instant" relationship. definitely good to get to know yrself before knowing others...
Sheletha - give yourself credit for the steps u do take alone - you're in a new city - that's bold! When you're out shopping try this: purchase a magazine then go into a cafe for lunch (lunch is always an easier solo meal). Generally, my book/magazine is a "cover" for me to people watch cuz I'm so nosey. LOL! And don't worry about what registers on your face - as my pastor says, "Ain't nobody thinkin' 'bout U!" ;-)
Cap, good advice to Sheletha.
I remember reading somewhere how you really know you can enjoy your own company if can go to a restaurant and dine without anything, ie a book or magazine. Just you eating.
funny that u say that, Shai...i'm never comfortable "just eating" - i even need to read when eating at home...i guess i feel there are so many books & so little time that I need to read every chance i get. lol! i know a woman who literally reads EVERY moment she's not involved in something that requires her full attention (lines, doctor's tables, etc.)
...since living in NYC I EVEN learned to read while walking = a skill I'm quite proud of! i used to think "those people" were being ridiculous...now, i'm one of them! lol!
I feel ya on the reading. I have over 100 books in my library I have not read. Yet, I keep buying them or winning them. LOL.
I have that problem of needing to read while I eat at home. LOL. I have been known to read, eat and watch TV. It can be an overload at times.
Reading while walking, I tried that and that is a skill. I almost tripped plus depending on where I am walking I gotta watch my back. LOL.
Don't run into one the horses in Central Park because you can't see past a page! LOL!
tru - gotta be aware of yr surroundings while walking/reading...i have keen peripheral vision;-)
Ced - u SILLY! lol! When u coming to NYC so i can show u 'round, anyway?
Congrats on your independence. So many people can do this. Those same asshole call themselves independent... I don't get it. Why can't they just say they have a low self image and they are dependent on other people to validate themselves?
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