The weather's finally breakin' & folk are lookin' like they're feelin' sexy with the midriffs all out
already. Me? I'm feeling pretty good about myself, too! Losing some of this "transition to NYC hit every amazing restaurant then fantastic must see & be seen @ bar/lounge" weight! LOL! So, I'm not fishing for compliments cuz "Mama" know she's turnin' a few heads. I've just always been curious about two types of people:
1) Those truly JAW-Dropping, Traffic-Stopping Gorgeous people who seem to flaunt it! While I feel blessed to be considered pretty, I do sometimes feel uncomfortable when men make a big deal out of it. I feel like I don't know how to respond, so I study those FABULOUS women who I witness walk into a room and literally cause a hush to fall. I admire those who continue on with their business - but I wonder what they're thinking. I cringe at those who expect the attention and bark orders or toss out insults to those who admire them.
2) Those who are horribly unattractive &/or obese who shamelessly present themselves in ill-fitting attire and demand attention. I don't mean to be cruel to any of God's Children, but we have to be real. Just because my thin friends wear an outfit does not mean it will be appealing on me! I think there is some benefit to being self-aware! I do believe that everyone has some appealing attributes ... I just don't understand the shameless who are nevah, evah self-conscious.
So, Are U too sexy for yourself? How Blessed do you feel in the sexiness department? Is your sex-appeal surface, physical -or- is it some aura you exude?
Past Grown Folk discussions:
To Wait or Not to Wait?
Toe Curling Tips
Do Porn & Intimacy go together?
What is Porn & How do U feel about it?
How do U feel about Porn Enthusiasts?
*click image for source.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Grown Freakin' Friday: ADULT subject matter for those over 18
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I am an extrovert. I love a party. I am at home in a room full of people. I am not shy. I love witty intelligent conversation and I love to laugh. I am very confident and I have no fear of anything. Men do not intimidate me. Nor does stunningly beautiful women. I can hold my own on all fronts.
My sex appeal is my optimism and spirit for life, love and the pursuit of happiness...my aura if you will!
I Just say this, " My Ego ain't hurtin!"...lol
I guess I am like lovebabs, I just mix and mingle whereever I find myself. I am not outspoken but I was told I have a very confident aire about me.
As far as sexiness, There are times I feel sexy and most times it's when there are just 2 of us, me and him.
Real Talk - I'm naturally blessed with sensuality and sexiness.
It's something nurtured by being confident, positive... by taking care of yourself inside and out... watching what you put into your body/mind and what you allow...
For me it's physical and definitely an aura.
I don't think I'm without some charm, but sexy? Nah.
Back in the day, I had a good athlete's body. I was trim, somewhat muscular. And I never got any complaints from the women I was blessed enough to be with - but maybe they were all really polite :-)
But I'm fish-belly white, which even among most white folks is not a turn-on. I'm severely melanin-deficient, so I don't tan. I burn. Burning is no fun, so I prefer very white to very red, thanks! And, need I mention the red hair I used to have? No fun getting the Howdy Doody - Richie Cunningham jokes.
I've been blessed with many more sexual partners than I would have thought likely, considering my general lack of sex appeal to some. I guess I do have a certain air of confidence (despite all the dissing of myself I just did here!) and that makes up for a lot.
I played the bass guitar in a whole bunch of bands. That helped. Music itself is sexy.
(No, I'm not rich and never have been even close, for those of you thinking maybe that's how I scored...)
So, sexy in the usual sense? Nope. Sexy in some other way? Apparently.
In WHAT way? Still wondering, but thankful to the lovely women who have found me to be so.
I think it's all about what you think about yourself. I think the sexyness is in me. It's just about how you present it to the world
See...here's where I think people get confused, because sexy (in my opinion) really has nothing to do with good looks. I've met 300lbs men who, after getting to know them, are sexy as hale. I've also met those model type brothers who hold absolutely no sex appeal as far as I'm concerned cause the cockiness is written all over their faces. And I can't stand cockiness!
Now...do I think I'm sexy? hehehehe You shoulda known better than to ask a question like that with someone like me hanging around. HALE YEAH...I'm all that AND a bag a chips. I done told ya'll I think I'm so sexy I cant keep from touchin my dayum self, so I sure as hell can't get mad at someone else wanting to be a part of my "sexy". Wait...that sounds kinda cocky, dont it? LMAO!!!
I don't think I'm sexy, but I also never thought any woman was unapproachable. I feel like I'm the man. It's more swagger than sexy. As far as body build, I've never had the six pack and all of that. I grew up skinny, I didn't really pick up weight until I entered the military and even then I wasn't that big. Right now I'm the biggest I've ever been and I'm definitely conscious of it.
I sometimes am always baffled that even before a man meets me, i hear that i am sexy. I know i have sex appeal, i am not drop dead gorgeous with a coke bottle shape...but what i have is personality, passion, charm, intelligence and wit...i guess that's what make me sexy...and seriously, i don't have a problem with it...oh and my low cut shirts, cuz Big Mama always told me to "use what you got!"
there are days when i feel on fire and others when i look in the mirror think, "where the hell did sexy go?"
that being said, lately a very sexy brother has been filling my head with all kinds of sexy compliments and sometimes i think he must be looking at someone else...at the same time, my ego is growing exponentially outta control...
deep down though i believe it's all about inner confidence which i have some days and other days am lacking...
...in as much as being sexy equals attitude and comportment. I guess, outfits matters alot. One simply cannot afford to be "...shamelessly present themselves in ill-fitting attire..." and expect sexual accolades.
I very much doubt it does happen.
Being sexy is definitely an attitude - The way someone walks, smiles, and talks. I do feel sexy sometimes. People have described me as someone who is noticed when they walk into a room, but I've never felt that when I walked in anywhere. I'm basically a shy person, but I'm a lot more outgoing than I used to be.
LoveBabz - I HEAR ya, Sis! Work that room!
T Oohh - i KNOW the Blog-Flirt has plenty of sex appeal;-). lol
Tabu - U GO, Li'l Mama!
Ms. KiA - AMEN! AMEN: "..by taking care of yourself inside and out... watching what you put into your body/mind and what you allow... "
SulDog - U crax me UP! fish-belly white...tha's a new one to me. But, I bet if u asked wifey she'd say u were Sexy as ALL get out! Humor is VERY sexy, I think!
12kyle - what about those who think they're sexy and are SOOOO not??? there's got to be a BIT more to it, don'tcha think?
Kiki - u rite, u rite...and we all already KNOW u sexyAzHayl! LOL!
Rich - u sound like the male version of me! lol - oooh, i used to get teased for being skinny...how i miss those days! LOL. Hmm, swagga vs. sexy vs. charm ...sounds like another post possibility...
I was self-conscious in my early years because people in my part of the world (Louisiana) were incredibly color-struck. Darker skin rated as a far second to lighter shades, and people often made no bones about declaring my skin's tone the "one to skip." My mother and grandfather did a great job of building the basis of my self-esteem around building my mind and shaking other people's opinions. I still hear from people who knew me in my grade-school years who tell me that my manners and self-confidence blew their minds back then.
I can thank Wesley Snipes and Richard Roundtree for waking people to the "blessings" of dark skin: "New Jack City" became a hit during my teen years, and "Shaft" suddenly regained popularity thanks to cable movie channels. This "second-class" brother became a five-star meal choice to a nation of Southern women, and I had a choice to make-- be myself or a pompous fool who was captivated with newfound attention. Nothing changed but the date; I was--and still am-- a man doesn't let attention to his looks or a flirty glance move him very much. Attention and attractiveness are fleeting.
Besides, I scored my hot-ta-def lady for life. I could care less about any other attention.
Miz - uh, how u gonna be "I sometimes am always baffled"? Sometimes & always? LOL! u know i'm just fuggin' wicha! U r TOO funny = "& my low cut shirts". LOL! Work watcha got, Li'l Lady!
Lisa! GURLLL, I feel ya on some dayz more sizzlin' than others! Go 'head wicha sexy man fillin' ya head! ENJOY!!
Rethots - "outfits matters alot." i agree - how we present ourselves MAKES a difference!
Anali - you're probably that type of chick that makes a brother wanna slowly drag your glasses off your face to get a closer look at those baby browns;-). i ain't madatcha workin' the shy angle! lol
New Ced - c'mon ovah here Brother to the NIGHT & gimme a big ol' country hug! cuz your wifey ain't the only one who loves deep, dark chocolate! LOL! ;-) i never knew that wesley was credited w/ anything positive. now, i guess i'll back up off him;-)
lol@ you...uhhhh, it was a 2 bottle night, so i couldn't make up my mind...sometimes and always :)
Much obliged, Sister Moon! Trust me: MAAAAD sisters paid attention to Wesley in "New Jack City"... and a generation of brothers like me reaped the benefits! As for the ways that he has managed to piss off more than a few ladies over the past two decades-- well, that's HIS curse.
See i like the approach. Everybody (well not everybody) has there lil sexy in their own way. Me I feel that my calmness, my tranquility is my center of sexy. I feel like im poetry in motion sometimes and that life flows off of me. In my history ladies on all my levels of life gravitated towards me in most cases. But when i think of my outer specimen, I dont feel like if I were looking at myself (physically speaking) that i' break stride to spark conversation.. go figure..
Love all you do Cap, I dont check in (to all of your hotspots) enough. Peace and blessings -Q.
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