I love shoes as much as the next shoe-holic and put an extra dip in my hip when wearing my flyest kix. Now, Brother 12kyle often references the shoe models of the ATL. Then Brother Rich explained to me the real impact of the ATL shoe models: many are indeed intelligent women using the shoe model industry to pay their way through college and establish a comfortable life whom men flocked to, influencing some men to leave their wives.
I'm not hating on sistahs who do what they feel is necessary to pay their way. I do wonder just how jaded one's going to become after spending time in such a career. I used to simply bartend and became disenchanted by some of what I witnessed in clubs, especially after hours. I can only imagine how tainted I would be after years as a shoe model. I don't ever think I'd develop a healthy relationship with any trust of men. I remember watching that cable show about the family who owned the porn business. The unmarried son had the hardest time finding women who could deal with him. He didn't want a stripper or performer, but when he met women who were not in the sex industry many became turned off by his business.
What say U? How would a career in the sex industry affect your relationships? If you've ever had such a career - how does it affect your intimate relationships?
Now, gone & strut your stuff on this long sexy weekend!
*click image for source.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Grown Freakin' Friday: ADULT subject matter for those over 18
Moved by The Creator, Merely posted by CapCity at 5/23/2008
Labels: self awareness, self love, sexy, shoes
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25 Comments:
This should be really interesting. :)
What's up Capcity! I hope you have a wonderful and safe weekend. Peace~
Shoe model? You make that sound like something that it don't sound like.
No. No sex industry career for me. I imagine it would affect you in a most negative way since I have found that folk are a bit more prudish than they let on.
I'm guessing the answers would be vastly different for men and women.
I can't speak for ALL men, by any means, but I think MOST of us view sex as something that can be entirely disconnected from emotion. So, a career in some sort of sex-related industry wouldn't be something that has to bring baggage into a relationship. I think the woman in the relationship would maybe make a bigger deal out of it than the man.
Now, if the shoe is on the other foot (if you'll pardon the reference to footwear again) and the woman is in the sex biz, I think most men would be freaked and want her out of it. No man wants to constantly have comparisons between himself and a whole bunch of other guys on his mind, unless the man has a big enough... let's say "ego"... to deal with it. And guys tend to believe that women tend to form emotional attachments from sexual encounters, so that's a threat, too.
Am I making sense? Hope so! Here's the bottom line of what I'm trying to say:
Man in sex biz, his partner not? No prob for the man, maybe for the partner.
Woman in sex biz, her partner not? Prob for the man, probably prob for the woman, too.
Hope that's not too sexist, but sex IS what we're talking about, so I suppose it's alright :-)
All I know, after living in tha A for quite some time, I didn't think it was possible to have so friggin many shoe models in one SMALL ass city!
I have been to a few of these places and not all of dem chicks are in college. I'd almost bet that most of them aren't.
That said, I think it depends on each woman, what kind of baggage she has or will bring to a relationship. Some women are able to separate the work from their personal lives. And, I think that is cool. However, I think its really sad that some women let that money make 'em, instead of making that money.
If it allows you to get to where you need to be and can do it without getting caught up, more power to ya!
Like I stated before and I'll say it again...You can't turn a Hoe' into a housewife!
Oil and Water do not mix!
So like Bishop Don Magic Wan says, " You Gotta let a Hoe be a Hoe!" Please believe it!
yep big business, mainly cause women lazy and dont want to work,
Oh yeah... and what you fasting from my site?
And to think I actually Luv you...Huh!
Some Sista you Are :0/
Hey there...
I did reach a point where I really didn't know how I was going to pay my rent and was really at a low, and for a second I figured, "I could do this for like a couple of months, pay off my debts, and then be able to live off of my paycheck."
But I just couldn't go through with it; it was just too dangerous in my eyes, so I just swallowed my pride and went to my mom for money.
So I guess it's true that Pride Cometh Before The Fall... I almost fell, but I got back up and am glad I never had to go through with it.
Like you, I'm not hatin' on those who have to, but luckily I didn't have to, and hopefully never will!
When i first arrived in the A, fresh out of college, no job, no money...i was approached by one of these establishments, and also an old man on an escort job...the old man said all i had to do was go to dinner a couple of nights and i could make $600-$1000...so i'm like, that's it, just dinner, and he goes, "and uh...a little something else"...now i ain't gonna lie...i thought about this for awhile, all of 2 hours to be exact, sitting in the lobby of the Westin Hotel, dressed in a business suit, pumps, hungry, with not enough money to buy a cheeseburger...i was at a crossroads...the thoughts that ran through my head, noone will know, i get to eat too, heck i gave it up for free...i went on to my next interview and got the job...caught the train home and made myself the best baloney sandwich, and dreamed it was chicken. So, i've been teased with it, but could never go through with it.
Miz makes an interesting point. Most women give it up for free. Most strippers aren't giving up anything but some looks, however I do know there is some sexin' going on.
If I met a woman in the strip club that was, as Rick James would say, "Cold Blooded" -- I mean the total package not just the exterior, she would have to get out the business. It still would take me a while to reprogram myself into not thinking about how we met.
so shoes = fukkin??? im confused.
S.Bess - :-) interesting indeed...is all gravy, baby! have a wonderful wkend, too.
68 - prudish or private? personally, i just don't want e'rybody all in my personal space & i don't wanna be all in theirs! lol!
SulDog - u make perfect sexist sense & tha's perfectly alright cuz it IS what it is! ;-)
Denea - HEY Sis! yea - mo power 2 those rare folk who can make that balance...
T-ohhh - no? i thought tha's what u all want in da bedroom;-)...yea, i'm fasting from u so when i DO come by i'll get FULL;-)
T-Dawg - dem sistahs on the pole work harder than I EVAH will! LOL!
Jaded - THANX 4 droppin' by, Sis! Yea, it is a blessing that we haven't had to go that route...
Miz - i've also considered escorting 'til i learned there was more to it! LOL! Though in a way while i was in college I WAS a companion to many lonely sailors (went to school in Norfolk). To be very honest most that I met really needed someone to talk to and it helped to be SEEN with a pretty lady. I NEVAH had to do any "favors" (i was actually still pretty green thru college:-) and I was taken out for movies/dinner, held cars while brothers were deployed, even got taken on a few shopping trips... - by meeting & actually HOLDING conversations with Brothers that led to them 2 trusting me and I was thankful & honored that they held me in such esteem.
Rich - interesting that u say if U met her AT the club she'd have to give it up - tha's like sayin' if I meet a Baller/Entertainer he'd have to give it up (cuz they're all ho's, too)...guess this is that sexist double standard that SulDog referred to...
Sheletha - in da ATL their Shoe Models are simply "modeling" SHOES and that's it;-)
Hola CapCity!!!
Love the shoe model reference...
I've actually dated a guy who was in the sex industry and my libra jealousy did not allow for one peaceful moment. He is a great guy, very generous and I can't complain about his bedside manner at all! but I was so anxious everytime I heard "business calls".
HAVE A WONDERFULLY BEAUTIFUL LONG WEEKEND!!! Enjoy!
You know the implication is that a stripper would be easier to get sexually than another woman, so If we somehow made a connection on another level and she became my woman, I wouldn't want her being subjected to that environment. Some women can't deal with entertainers/athletes because they know they are getting it thrown at them all the time. So they may choose not to mess with them. A woman wouldn't expect him to get out the business because of the roles of provider. The same logic applies for a man who wants his woman out of that business. He figures he can cover the spread, so she doesn't have to do that for the money.
Cap, I didn't know you went to school in Norfolk. I went to Hampton. Heeeeeeey neighbor!
Well, I dated a male stripper for about two years...and maybe I was fortunate...but we didn't have any problems or insecurity issues in our relationship. Hell...I was his "hype" person yo might say (not that he needed it...that boi was FIONE...WHEW!). I'd sit in the audience and act like I was a big fan & stick 10 & 20 dollar bills in his g-string (and hell yeah I got my money back after the show)to get the ball rollin.
I dont get what the hang up would be? Just like Miz said women give it up for free on the regular, men go out & cheat on their women just as much. What they do to bring home the money doesn't make a differnce to me...as long as they bring dey ass home at night.
But then again...we all know I think outside the box...*shrugs*
LMAO@Sheletha..."so shoes = fukkin???..." hehehehe
A post dedicated to shoe models...I love it! Preciate it CapCity
I was just having this convo with one of my boys. He's single with no kids. He met this chick that he really likes. One problem...she does pornos for a living. He hasn't slept with her or anything. But he's feeling the chick. I told him to let that brawd go!!! LOL. But I don't think he will. He's one of those dudes that's real freaky (lol) so I just see him sticking around just for kicks.
As for shoe models, I don't pass judgment on any female who wants to get nekkid to get that paper. Sometimes...you gotta do what you gotta do.
good post and I 'preciate the shout out!
I am not so sure I am that different from women who "model shoes" at the end of the day we are all Women trying to make a way. I gues I could sit in judgement and say these women are lazy and don't want to work. And that does what...let me off the hook from looking at the issues--hearing their stories, knowing soemthing about their "real Lives". These women are working...someone is paying them. Hhhmmm so all the moral outrage does nothing to squash the the money passing from hand to hand.
MizR & Capcity thank you for sharing your stories.
I am not so sure I could date someone who was in the porn industry. I like porn, but at the same time I do not like the objectification of women as sex objects solely in a great many of the porno films.
I am not easily ready to condemn women for the choices they make. Aren't we all buyers and sellers in the great market place of life?
G'day - found you via the gorgeous lovebabz, nice to meet you :)
I have definitely contemplated working in the 'show industry.' I thought that if I wasn't a mother with respect to my child, I would.
However, I'm also a scaredy cat at the creepy stuff men might request and also worried about old daggy guys drooling all over my pink bits, so I refrained from signing on the dotted line.
It's definitely tempting though, my esteem saved me in the end.
I don't know how women can 'tune out' when they're working, and I'd like to talk to a 'shoe-model' to see if they had a history of child abuse. I wonder if they have mastered 'zoning out' as a result of a historical event that took place in their life.
Dunno. Very interesting topic though.
See you at the Clam Cafe.
x
Ms. KiA - Que Pasa, Mami;-)? u're a better woman than i to even last as long as u DID! LOL! u enjoy your weekend, too!
Rich - "I wouldn't want her being subjected to that environment" ...but if u met her IN that environment she was ALREADY there...yea, i know i can't deal w/ men in certain "fields" cuz I'm selfish like that! LOL!
Denea - Wuzzup, TideWatah! LOL!
Kiki - Gurrlll - we already know u special! LOL! but seriously, u r very comfortable with areas that most aren't.
12kyle - u know it's all luv! yea, i don't pass judgment on what ANYbody feels they need to do to provide for themselves - specially if it don't harm ME! ;-)
LoveBabz - see above comment & i KNOW i couldn't date anyone in the sex industry -- heck, I'm praying for the patience to date Brothers in ANY industry now that I think of it! LOL!
Ms. Smack - Welcome! U hit the nail on the head as far as I'm concerned! There's a detachment that HAS to happen & it's got to be a challenge to turn off when u leave "work". I would luv to hear from "the horse's mouth", too!
For some reason I have always wanted to be a stripper. I guess knowing I can get a crowd all hot and bothered while I take their money seems exciting to me. At the same time, you couldn't get me on a stage for nothing.
I'd rather be a stripper for my man.
I doubt I'd date anyone in the sex industry. Just not my thing. It's probably safer (disease-wise) than us regular folk, though.
@ Jewells
"I guess knowing I can get a crowd all hot and bothered while I take their money seems exciting to me."
Classic!!!
I don't think I could deal with a female who had a career in the sex industry. It would be hard for me to consider our relationship as being sacred. And then I'd have to always wonder about other stuff.
I don't have what it takes ot become a member of the sex industry, so she wouldn't have to worry about me. lol.
hahahaha @ sheletha's comments.
Jewell - i agree strippin' for one is WAY more fun, i think;-)...if i believed that the industry really WAS regulated MAYbe i'd believe the employees really were disease free & safer... no where to run to, Baby! lol!
Don - see? that's what I'm wondering: how can the coming together of man & woman be deemed sacred & special if one partner "works sex" for money? no, i'm not judging - i'm just WONDERING!! and regarding: "I don't have what it takes to become a member of the sex industry, so she wouldn't have to worry about me." What EXACTLY does it "take"? It seems to be who U know & who U "do" far as I can see ... but what do i know?!
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