Musing on ... conversations....verbal dances

It's no secret that I love to talk. I'm proud that I've also become a better listener & observer of cues.

According to FreeDictionary.com:
The spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings; talk.

According to Wikipedia:
Conversations are the ideal form of communication in some respects, since they allow people with different views of a topic to learn from each other. A speech, on the other hand, is an oral presentation by one person directed at a group.

Those engaging in conversation naturally relate the other speaker's statements to themselves, and insert themselves (or some degree of relation to themselves, ranging from the replier's opinions or points to actual stories about themselves) into their replies. For a successful conversation, the partners must achieve a workable balance of contributions. A successful conversation includes mutually interesting connections between the speakers or things that the speakers know. For this to happen, those engaging in conversation must find a topic on which they both can relate to in some sense.

As I think back on some of my most exciting conversations I've observed the following have kept me engaged & wanting to talk forEVER to the individuals:

We connected in unspoken ways. They read my signals - often better than I could have ever "read" myself. The conversation made me think & ponder on what I am doing with my own life/self. I laughed! I may have even cried. I reminisced and kept thinking forward toward a hopeful future. The individuals were passionate about life! We spoke with respect to each other, not speaking down to the other. We enjoyed the company and the meeting of the minds. We could disagree and keep the flow moving.

Great conversations are like dancing: you move joyfully together. Even if you accidentally step on each others' toes, you apologize and keep it moving!

I have a question to you who are reading this:
How do you keep your conversation engaging? Do you enjoy conversations (I must remember that there are those who prefer not to dance;-)?

As Stephanie says: Don't Be Afraid! Keep on Dancin'! Nonstop, now!


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Next Friday - BE there NYers;-)

Next Friday, September 21st - Organized Noise is urging all NYC Bloggers to gather for another meetNgreet! If interested - ask ON or leave a comment here indicating as much & we'll disclose the bat-cave;-).

I'm excited!

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Conundrum - thanx 2 SistahKnewDay:-)

After reading the responses to Sistah KnewDay's question about needing "me" time in relationships, I was especially struck by GC's comment that she doesn't get why people need time alone.

This was buzzing around in my head along with my post from yesterday and I realize that I am a conundrum (one of my favorite words:-). I LOVE being around people and even being the center of attention. When I did an image search for crowds this chosen one reminded me of my high school and college days. I would've scanned and posted one - but that would've taken too long;-). I was a social butterfly in every sense of the word.

Now, I also ADORE time alone without the demands of others. I love not having to explain myself or answer to anyone else's needs or wants. My family and best friends know this about me and love me in spite of my need to go underground from time to time. I know that I will have a mate who 'gets' that I'm multi-faceted: loner, affectionate, social butter-fly, etc. In many ways I'm like a cat: I love being loved and in your company when I want to be then when I've had enough, I'll flick my tail and take it elsewhere. ;-).

So, my question: What makes U a conundrum? I think we all are to some degree;-)
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Question to the Faithful...

Now, I admit I am new to this Closer Walk with Thee...but, I'm trying to be faithful. I'm doing all that I know.

I'm a believer, but As a WoMAN, I continue to be a bit perplexed by the Bible's male dominance...especially when it comes to mating.

YES, I continue to believe in soulmates and will do so until death drags me from this earthly realm. But, I recall a discussion for our Singles' Ministry lead by a single & FOiNE former assistant pastor to our church regarding abstinence and the single, Christian adult. Despite my frustration with his frustration, the session makes me laugh every time I recall the young pastor's utter lack of "control". I guess he thought his predominantly female congregates would sit silently and listen to his prepared sermon with his prescribed scriptures for all that ails us. Well, back in Biblical times the percentages of straight, eligible men and women were not skewed as they are now and we tossed a variety of questions his way to let him know that. I laughingly recall the young pastor's last words for that session before the closing prayer: "Looks like we need another session. These questions need to be addressed to Pastor Butts (our head Pastor:-)."

So, I bring the question to you: Biblically, Women are created FOR men (yes, that's a HUGE generalization - don't get hung up on that). But, it seems there's been a glitch in the matrix and there are "too many of us straight women". What to do with us "surplus" women? Even if many of us choose to cross cultural boundaries there are so many women! Is the multiple wife arrangement our only alternative?

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Just interested in your thoughts....

P.S. This is my 100th post on the Intimate Side:-)

No Virgin

I'm no Virgin...
but I've never been explored...

I am virgin territories of unexplored depths.

I've been touched.
But, rarely connected.

I've been held.
But, rarely sheltered.

I've been in conversations.
But, rarely conferred with.

I've been looked at.
But, rarely looked into.

I've been listened to.
But, rarely heard.

I've been kissed.
But, rarely distinguished.

I've danced with.
But, rarely worked through steps.

I've partied with.
But, rarely been party to the collaboration of committed partnership.

And Now,
I am being regenerated
By The Creator ... for the Brother
... who I will fight for...not with.
... who will be the first... to be my last.

C.A. Paige©April 2007

Selfish?

Is it Selfish to Stand on Your Own Two Feet? Is it Selfish to Look out for yourself? How do you define Selfish? Are there levels of Selfishness?

Had a conversation with my Dad recently about two kinds of Selfish as we saw it:

Healthy Selfishness Vs. Infantile Selfishness

Infantile Selfishness - we called it such because the image of babies came to mind. Babies want what they want NOW. Babies don't give any regard to how it inconveniences anyone else and have no foresight as to how to provide for their own future wants.

Healthy Selfishness - when you do what is necessary to take good care of yourself FIRST. However, your self care enables you to help others around you.

We had this discussion in relation to our own lives, of course. When individuals who "need" you or something from you call you selfish with disdain because you refuse to provide for their immediate needs. How do you handle that? Where is the balance?

Thanx in advance for your feedback!