Selfish?

Is it Selfish to Stand on Your Own Two Feet? Is it Selfish to Look out for yourself? How do you define Selfish? Are there levels of Selfishness?

Had a conversation with my Dad recently about two kinds of Selfish as we saw it:

Healthy Selfishness Vs. Infantile Selfishness

Infantile Selfishness - we called it such because the image of babies came to mind. Babies want what they want NOW. Babies don't give any regard to how it inconveniences anyone else and have no foresight as to how to provide for their own future wants.

Healthy Selfishness - when you do what is necessary to take good care of yourself FIRST. However, your self care enables you to help others around you.

We had this discussion in relation to our own lives, of course. When individuals who "need" you or something from you call you selfish with disdain because you refuse to provide for their immediate needs. How do you handle that? Where is the balance?

Thanx in advance for your feedback!