This is inspired by a comment left by Sistah LoveBabz over on a post I did at CapCha'd in Luv.
I am not, yet, a parent. Being the youngest, I've never watched a sibling grow. I have watched my nephews grow -- but remind myself that they're still "someone else's" who raise them differently than I would my own. So, I watch with love from a safe distance, darting in to give hugs and words of encouragement like running through traffic dodging the siblings. Since I am the youngest sibling my "elders" have gotten offended when I gave advice, so I keep it to myself. I have turned my advice into my life work. My hope is that my nephews will see how I'm living, witness what I accomplish and know that they have options. I am also aware that I am their aunt, not an uncle. The options I display may not appeal to them or even seem viable to young Black men coming of age in this society. But, still I live as closely to my words of advice as I can, cuz just maybe they are watching more than I think.
Maybe some of U know what it's like to dream a bigger dream for others than you do for yourself. Now that I am a published author some of my family gatherings feel strange to me. I'm not sure how to describe it, yet. It feels like a new pair of jeans that I'm breaking in. The discussions of where this writing thing will go are so different from my own thoughts about my writing career that I'm never sure how to react. To me: I'm just me - writing, putting out books, promoting them, and getting my hustle on. Some of my family members already see me on Oprah (yes, that's been said and I don't think they were joking). While I am thankful for such strong belief in me and what I have now been called to do - I'm. not. sure. how. to. react. So, all I can say is: Thank you to all who dream so big for me.
Friday, March 21, 2008
GOOD Friday...dreams for others....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
11 Comments:
I too am childless as the fates deemed it for me, and I too have had to bite back commnets, retorts and advice for relative's and freind's kids. Like you, I spill it out all onto the blank page, hoping that someone will see thoer worth and finally someone did.
Blessings...
Patt
Even a person with children cannot give advice to other parents. Some are not willing to hear what others say, because to them you're telling them how to raise their child. I have always had an open mind to suggestions, except for when the suggestions seem more like orders and commands.
Your sensitivity to behavior shifts amazed me when we were stuck at Great Lakes, and I learned to pay close attention to the little things you noticed. There was so much that I learned by listening to your responses to people's facial tics, Freudian slips, and quick comments. I learned something else from that time, too: my responsibility to tell a youngster the truth whether we are family or not-- the truth... and not my opinions.
You love your people, and you want them to live a life beyond any barriers that reigned in the generations before them. There is nothing wrong with that; good is wrapped all around it. Remember that you can't give everyone your hope or your courage, but don't keep your words bottled away from them. The idea to be the change you want in your world and your family is excellent, and I pray that you won't become close-lipped to avoid ruffling family feathers. Just pick your lessons as wisely as you did in 1999, and you'll teach them well.
Your nephews learn more from your fire and love of life than you may realize. Every boy respects that kind of strength and gravitates to people who display it. A boy can learn that from every man and woman in his village. Keep going, lady.
Don't worry about family and their fears/reminders of dreams deferred. You're not stopping your journey for anyone on Earth. They will be fine. God changes hearts; let Him work on family. Enjoy yourself in this new thing you're doing, Cap.
Did I mentioned that I love Mr New Man...I do indeed!
I think you are fabulous! I was a phenominal Auntie before I stepped in to the role of Mother. I believed that the role of Auntie was a divine gift..I still think so! And so many of my neices and nephews are off to college and into their lives with my whisper of love in their ears and on their hearts. Parents are great and needed, but an Aunt, an Aunt is the WALL, the Lamp Upon the Path, the mindnight call when love done gone wrong, the one with extra money and sssh! don't tell ery'body I gave you money. I loved that role. I love that role.
You exist because people willed it so. You thrive in the world on the backs of so many well intentions and prayers. Live well and live strong is the give back. Live Strong, Live Free and Live in LOVE.
Thank you for feeling anything I say makes sense to your spirit.
Happy Easter!
looking good signing that book, could stop y like u used to
I know how you feel. One night I went to bed as just a writer. The next day I woke up and I was an author. That was back in Augsut and I'm still not used to it. So lets do this: Let's have your people meet my people and schedule us on Oprah so we can sit there looking clueless together :-)
Peace and Love,
Ali's Zay (http://LoversA.blogspot.com)
You're a PUBLISHED AUTHOR whether or not you ever meet Oprah - based on your writing, she's the one who'll be hoping to meet you.
All I can say is...Keep it up!
Like my Twin Lovebabz, I was a phenomenal Auntie Sharon before I was a mother. Being an Auntie IS being a mother plus being things most mothers can never be to their own child. As your sister, I can say for sure that you couldn't be anything short of phenomenal as an aunt even if that was your intention. I say this because you have a light inside you that beams so brightly that you nor anyone else could ever prevent it from lighting the way for anyone you love.
Already that light of yours has shined so brightly in my life that I am making my very first excursion to DC...see what I mean.
So the next time your "elders" or anyone else intimates that there is nothing they can be taught by you, you tell them that I CALLED YOU "THE LIGHT"!!!
thanx 4 all this luv! each of u know i DO appreciate & read your comments - even when my mortal-time-binding does not allow me to comment personally:-). i know i'm saying this A LOT these dayz - and can we ever really say this too much? THANK U! THANQ! THANKEW;-)
Keep on Keepin' on Cap. The sky's the limit... :-)
Love the pic btw!
Post a Comment