There was a question on another blog about whether you can live without sex. Now, technically mammals only need water, air and food to live. But, the responses were such that most did not believe it possible to live without sex. So, I want to take that question a step further.
IF you find yourself without a partner, what do you do?
Instead of CAN you live without sex, I ask: How do you live without sex?
Addendum after responding to several comments:
I guess what I'm really asking is - If you don't have a partner that you adore - do you deal with Mr./Mrs. Right NOW?
Okay - I'm puttin' my bi'ness out here: I never in my post-teen years IMAGINED that I would experience such a drought as I am now. This is clearly God's way of making me slow my role. I wasn't a SUPER freak - but I was SUPER picky. I was one of those sistahs who enjoyed the company of a Brother ... critically. In my head: if I could "get" this Brother then surely, I could trade up for a better model? Yea, it was what it was. No lie: I was that kind of sistah. So, now I am given puh-lenty of time to really evaluate myself. I'm not gonna lie, this ish ain't NO JOKE! Now, I know that I had it ALL wrong - I'm not supposed to make the decision: that's The Creator's job. He knows all that I need & He implanted me with these desires. Loaard, knows I hope I've learned my lesson and when the next GOOD, FINE to me, Brother comes into my life I will appreciate all that he IS and all that he offers. In Jesus' name I pray!
*click on image to enlarge and for its source.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
What do U do when U find yourself alone?
Moved by The Creator, Merely posted by CapCity at 10/11/2007
Labels: intimacy, physical self, self discovery
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19 Comments:
I believe I can. I've never been one to have sex with more than one partner and as I grow older the friends with benefits thing is no fun. I would rather keep it on lock if I'm singe and alone. I can survive.
thanx for coming by & commenting, Seven! I agree that friends with benefits is no longer beneficial to me. But, i had to post this cuz i'm curious about what folx choose to do to "get by".
I'm presently "existing" solo and there are rough days, but there are also GREAT days - just like when I was in a relationship, in a way;-). Of course, i do hope this solo-relationship ends soon;-)
I guess I could do it [I mean for a spell anyway] LOL
On a serious note tho' the truth is it's all about the mental.
Once you get that in tact then anything's possible.
Hope you have a great weekend Cap.
By the way...how goes thangs my sistah?? :-)
Every one can. Every one should be able to live.
the FWB thing doesn't work for me either...and, sadly, i know i can survive as i have been doing just that for much longer than i like to think about...thank god for BOB!!! :D
I believe I can (with God as my anchor)...having sex just to be having sex can become boring and routine. The only way to get out of that routine can get kinkier and kinkier and that can be dangerous. In order to achieve my balance (as all Libras attempt to do)and maintain my flyy-ness I have to be somewhere between a good girl and SuperHead. I will have to maintain a sense of self control, thus going without for a period of time.
Cap you mean how do you live without sex with another person or sex period? LOL! I can do without sex (with another person) and I know how to control those urges. I'm in a long distance relationship and sometimes the intervals between sex ain't no joke but I'm ok with it. Just my 2 cents. *sigh*
Hehehe...I was going to ask the same thing as durtymo...Without another person...been there, done that (remember...3 years...GLAD that's over LOL). But no stimulation AT ALL!?! Ummm...all I can say is thank goodness for my...ummmm...toys LOL!
I can and have lived without sex. It isnt my favorite thing but I have never been able to have sex without an emotional connection so when I am not in a relationship I dont have sex. The casual sex thing is just to impersonal for me and I have never done the one night stand thing.
I just trust that I will be in a relationship with a sound partner and chill until then. Which is what I am doing now....
I was in a relationship once where there was no sex and honestly I dont know if I would do that again. Maybe with a more connected and emotionally/spiritually sound person. I like physical affection and I think it is necessary to a degree.
Good question Cap!
I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT SEX AM I WRONG?
Hey Ms.B - I'm good - thanx for asking! Well, most of the time i agree it's about the mental...but sometimes the emotional/physical lack gets ROUGH!!
Dio - good to see ya! been a minute. i agree everyone should be able to live solo for a bit at least;-).
Li$a - Girl, I HEAR ya - been longer than i ever wanted, too. Sadly bob's don't help me either so i'm really in a bind. LOL!
Sheletha - PREACH it, Sistah Girl!! Sometimes I think this "spell" has gotten me closer to God & sometimes I wonder if it's tainted my relationship...we'll see...it's a serious wrestle that's for sure!
Durty! Wha's good wicha? I guess, i'm just wondering what folx do to get thru - whether complete abstainance or what have u. i don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this. your coins are appreciated;-)
Kiki - Well, Sis - i remember when i read that it had been 3 years for u & I was like Lord, please don't let this last that long. Now, here i am creepin' up on 2.5...JeeeeZUSSSSS! LOL! ONE thing i've discovered is that all those other forms of stimulation frustrate me EVEN more! *SMIRK & heavy SIGH*
Sistah Femigog - this "haitus" of mine has taught me that I also need the emotional connection. trying all the suggested "stuff" has done nothing but make me ANGRIER about my SIchiation...so, all I can DO now is take the advice of the gospel song and JUST STAND...
Brother T-Dawg - I wish I were that lucky....Holler out one for the sistahs who AIN'T!
I knew there would not be any men saying they could go without sex. LOL.
I am with Seven on the FWB. I can and am going without it.
Well - only ONE man responded, so far, Shai. Oh - WAIT, Dio responded that everyone should. And I know at least ONE other Brother Blogger who is also celibate at this time, so let's not generalize. I only knew that I could go without cuz i HAVE to (kinda sorta;-).
In answer to the addendum...i have to honestly say that there have been times in the past when I settled for Mr. Right now (aka Mr. Wrong)...but dang it...I needed my itch to be scratched.LOL
Even with my current "relationship", while I'm diggin dude, I'm not feeling that he's "The One". It had been 6 months between him and the last guy, and I think he's something to "do" because I didn't want to go another 3 years without "doing"...Is that bad? Oh, well!
Kiki - Girl, u know i'm not EVEN here to judge - as i said, ain't no such thing as good or bad, right or wrong. we gotta do what works for us...but u know i'm still wondering what happened to Brother man u met at the gas station. LOL! Believe ME - have had some mr. right nows (WRONGS) - which is what has driven me to my current state of F'em ALL! God's Got my FULLEST attention, now cuz i KNOW there's some things i've been needing to focus on and a MAN is not IT (for now;-)...
Oh okay, I read the addendum and uhm I must admit that I have indeed settled for Mr. Right now on occasion. I mean we have been friends for years and years but still we aren't a couple ... we do have an emotional link.
To be truthful I miss sex we I dont get it regularly and I love sex so it aint easy to forgo it when it is available from a reliable source!
You know...I am gonna have to think about this more now. LOL
it's easy to go without sex for long periods of time.
just ask my wife how to do it.
-- them is just jokes
Celibacy was something I was never good at. I actually tried it before getting married. My mistake was telling the sisters that dug me that I was trying to be celibate. They practically threw it at me more when they found that out. I guess they thought I had to be hitting it if I was sincere about liking them. They couldn't trust a brother who didn't want none even if it was because he was trying to do right by the Lord.
So you know what happened.
I hit it, then repented in the morning.
Femigog - take your time girl, take your time;-)
Brother Rich - TRUST! this is not a SKILL I was EVER hoping to "master"... LOL! But, my morning repentance was leaving a sour taste in my heart & soul - so, now it jus' is what it is....please, keep me in prayer!
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