Crushes & The Start of the Mating Dance:
If U ever had a crush or early flirtations, please share about them! I love to hear a good story! If U never had such experiences, I'll pray for you - but feel free to live vicariously through mine and anyone else who cares to share theirs by clicking on the highlighted words 'crush or early flirtations';-)!
Reflections on Past Loves & Sensualities:
Then of course, once those crushes mature and develop into full blown experiences...aaah! Do you reflect on them? If so, how do you feel about them? Reminisce with me awhile, if u have the time and desire!
Friday, March 9, 2007
Crushes & Reflections
Moved by The Creator, Merely posted by CapCity at 3/09/2007
Labels: coming of age, crushes, love, reflections, romance
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lol...i pleads the 5th! hahahahaha
I have already bared my soul on this topic..
which the flirtations, or the reminiscing? & when was it bared - before I joined the fold? c'mon tease-DC, don't do that...either jump in or;-)
One day at work one of my co-workers said, some man is looking for you...of course, i was not at my desk, it was nearly 4pm and i had no interest in dealing with anyone...so i said, "nobody looking for me at 4pm"...then she hollered over the cubicle, "Oh, you want to see this one..." you know how it is, in a office full of women, any man gets attention, but a fine man, gets all our attention...So i, and another co-worker come running out of her cubicle, when my co-worker says, Miz is over here...girl my mouth dropped when this fine specimen of a man came walking up to me, smiling the cutest smile, looking like Lem from Soul Food....I said, "can i help you?", trying to maintain my cool, and he proceeded to tell me why he was there, to check out a circuit or something another, but what happened was strange, he came to my desk, he looked over my pictures, and said, "these are beautiful, you're beautiful", okay he is smoothe....he leans close, like he was trying to get a better look, and his arm rubbed mine...now i ain't crazy, this man-boy was making a move...we never did find that circuit he was supposed to be working on, but we spent hours talking, talking about reading, and writing, and more. It was a sweet moment.
OK, here I go getting naked, literally.
I miss my muse. There I said it. LOL. This man was not my "type" AT ALL. He was a redbone, I am used to chocolate men. He looked much younger by about 6 years (long story, I found out on the Net he was 5 years younger not one year younger like he first said). He was silly and seemed needy for attention. He was a pretty boy type he was half Italian and half black.
He used to be an exotic dancer. He was catching the bus from the same plant I worked at (we never worked together, thank the Lord).
After many attempts to get my attention I let myself engage in conversations. Over time I learned he was a poet, more spoken word than written. He did not believe I wrote poetry till I hit him with some written stuff. That clinched it. He could say some good words off the rip. I admired that. He had one son he cherished. I admired that.
I was so rough on him. But he was all bothering me, I mean I am at the busstop in my "zone" after dealing with crazy azz supervisors and co-workers. It is funny how folks are drawn to someone who has a zone of peace that they do not want disturbed.
We talked on the phone. Nothing physical or any advances. Then as the summer went on things heated up. He wanted to "talk". We went to Belle Isle (an island in Detroit area, across from Canada) listening to Najee, jazz, us making up poems.
Anyway, He sparked my poetry, he was my muse. I mean the connection, chemistry, the vibes was MAD crazy. He had me spitting impromptu poems. He had me writing some deep azz shit. My Essence poem was about his ultimate betrayal.
I fell in love with him not knowing he should have just been my muse. I cannot explain it good enough. My creativity peeked when I dealt with him, even he was moving towards writing stuff, spouting stuff. We had passion and so much more.
Yet, I learned he was for me, he lied, deceived, then got married on me, without telling, this after I said I could not be his lover and he still wanted to be friends.
This is long, the story is over a 6 year period. All in all I got a broken heart, I have healed and took into merit why he came into my life. Now that he is gone, I still have my flow. He helped my flow. I miss the instantaneous flow I had with him, it is rare to find that vibe. I miss our chemistry. Hell, we made an impromptu poem together spitting back and forth like we were possessed. If I had a tape recorder to capture that.
Things happen for a reason and I am grateful even after the pain for meeting him. Whew! that ride was beyond a trip. My massive poetry collection was written most of the time I dealt with him. And I have been writing off and on for 20 years. These last 7 have been the bulk of my flow.
There I revealed a piece of Shai. Whew! that was long. LOL.
Ohhh, Sistah Shai...thank U for opening up like THAT! Wow...I'm sorry that u had to suffer the heart-ache, but am grateful that he untapped your creative flow and helped it to run freely. The poems I've read have been wonderful and I look forward to more!
Hugz, sis;-)
I hear you Shai...i write poetry too, most times when i am hurt...this is my love remembered poem...
In truth i am what you fear...
I am the love of a lifetime,
blood,sweat and tears...i am the fruit of all your achievement
i am your fears...
i give you hope when times are hard..
i give you strength, encased in small arms...
they hold no special power
no gift from God
just all that i have
all that i will give
my love everlasting
my will to live
to give
u my love,that which u deserve
all of that which
if you were mine
If you were mine
period my luv.
if you were mine.
If I didnt still run into this man every now & then, I'd think this was all a dream...
I'm out with my girls one night, had gone to the ladie's room, and was making my way back to the bar, when some fool had the nerve to grab a sistahs backside. So, me being me, I turn around and slap the s*%t of him. And didnt he raise his hand like he was about to hit me back? Well just when I thought I was gonna have to call my uncles and 'em to come whupp (yeah I said wupp, I'm a little bit country lol..but anyway)this boys ass for puttin his hands on me, in stepped my knight in shining armour.
He steps up in dude's face and told him that if he laid a hand on me, he would f*ck him up. Seeing that my captain-save-a- hoe (hehehe whom shall be referred to from now on as "F") was about about a foot taller & 80lbs heavier than my would be attacker, the scummbag backed off. "F" then asked me was I cool and introduced himself. Now brother wasnt the finest thing I had seen that night, but he was attractive and had a dimple when he smiled that made me melt.
"F" buys me a drink and we start talking, and talking, and talking. Like we had know each other forever. We exchanged numbers & with the exceptions of our jobs, were damn near inseperable for two years from that night on.
What I remeber the most is him calling to tell me he was on his way over from work, I would run him a bubble bath(thats right, I spoil 'em) when he arrived, turn on some "For Lovers Only" on the radio, and while he soaked in the tub, he would serenade me along with the radio from the bathroom while I cooked or did some other household chore. What was so damn cute about it was he never knew the words and would always try to substitute my name into a song to let me know he was singing to me. Sappy...I know...but I ATE IT UP!
Needless to say, seeing as how we'er no longer together, we went are separate ways; and it wasnt a hostile break-up...just decided we wanted different things and we're still great friends to this day.
Thanks for the memory Cap.
Happiness can’t be found between the legs
That’s where betrayal lives
You pulled me between your legs
And spoke of love unfound before
Coaxed me with eyes that burned
Through my exterior
The heat was too much to bear
It made me stare my vows in the face
Is this the way love should go?
Still longing for your thighs I searched my soul for the answers
Could destiny be found with you?
The answers came in time
Now I find my love has been replaced
Between the legs
But not in my heart and mind
Wow! I am overwhelmed by the love & creativity flowing up in HERE!
Loving the poem, Miz - especially the line: "i am the fruit of all your achievement"
Sistah Kiki - thanx for that wonderfully heroic tale! Gotta LOVE a Brother who can step UP!
And MwB...ummmm hmph! That piece resonates through me!
Thanx for sharing!
these are some great stories!!!!! Im afraid that I am the one that you would have to pray for...MWB that was really off the chain...the chain has literally disappeared.
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