I Wish I Knew...and Glad I Better Understand:-)

You all know that I am thankful to my ancestors and parents for bringing me this far. I know therapists say we have to make peace with our pasts before we can move forward. One therapist told me that I had to acknowledge the role that my parents played in my development. Initially, I thought she meant I needed to lay blame on my fore parents for the pain or suffering that they had caused and I grew angry and frustrated with her. I don't believe that blaming the past will rectify my future. Clearly, there are many things my parents and ancestors could not know that I would need for survival. Heck, they were busy trying to figure this shit out for themselves "on the fly".

Now, I understand that the therapist simply meant I need to acknowledge the role that my parents played in my development, nothing more and nothing less - just acknowledge it. Today, as I worked on a tale for publication, the blatant acknowledgement took form without my initiating it. As I settled in to work on the piece I reflected on my life, as I often do. Like a good book, each time I reflect on my own story, I learn and notice something that I never noticed before. Sunday past, the guest speaker at church stated that God can restore ALL that has been stolen from us (time, objects, etc.). That message resonated as I reflected on self.

During my self reflection, I acknowledged the facts that my parents could not fully help me understand the dance between men and women, because they didn't fully understand it themselves. My parents couldn't help me understand business concepts, because they didn't understand them, really. I came of age in the eighties, when it was all about the partying and the "Benjamins", baby! I didn't fully understand what it meant to really value ones' self worth. I only knew that if you took care of yourself financially and you protected yourself when interacting with others (be it by use of prophylactics or just common sense) - that all would be well in your world. Living by those simple standards I am blessed and all is cool in my world.

I want more than cool. The Creator, my parents and fore parents deserve more than cool from me. Now, I'm ready to Set it Off!! (to borrow from one of my favorite "coming of age" house tunes;-). So, I list below a few things I wish I knew that would make it easier for me to set it off (and I pray The Creator will restore as the pastor promised:-):

I wish I knew (& glad I understand better:-):

• When my Daddy told me that women have the power to direct relationships, that he had clarified it was a quiet, subtle power; so that I wouldn't have "beat up" so many Brothers, because I "let a jokah know! I was not to be taken advantage of!"
  
• That when Ma told me she didn't like being married, it was because she had been a beautiful young woman, who had been frightened and didn't understand that marriage did not have to equal bondage.
• That entrepreneurship does not mean homelessness:-).
  
• That following ones' passion means finding God's Flow for you. We are given many gifts; it takes "listening" to that quiet, constant voice to help you determine which gift to use for The Creator's glory and abundance.

Again, I'm So Thankful that each new day is another chance to get it Write;-).


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