I'm COMING OUT!

At peace with the physical me:-)

This photo was taken after feastin', jokin' & talkin' smack with family on Thanksgiving 2004...so it's been a minute and thangs have changed, Thank Gawd. But this image is all I have to represent how I'm feeling!! I just got in from the gym and I'm feeling like HOT Dayum!! So, I need to share that I'm coming OUT!! Can you hear my girl, Diana singing in the background?;-)

Reflecting on the physical ME for a minute and how funny life is (or is it just how funny I am?). I vividly recall the shock and trauma that I experienced as I grew into this womanly figure. Okay, so I'm being dramatic...I wasn't traumatized, but I was caught off guard. Just as my body began to sprout outwards in all kinds of fascinating places, the medical field started promoting breast care and cancer awareness. There was a deluge of promotions on checking for lumps. Skinny, junior high me didn't want to "detect" a lump too late so, I checked almost daily. I have three elder sisters and not one of those chicks warned me that breasts start out as lumps! I laugh now, but I seriously thought that I had cancer because one side had a lump that the other side didn't have. I also had not been warned that the dynamic duo does not appear at the same time. I am a bookworm and had read all of the physical development books, but nary a book I read ever prepared me for the fact that hard little lumps would grow into these semi-voluptuous twins I have now;-).

Then there's "the backyahd". First, lemme tell you, I was a skinny sistah up through junior high. I was a straight, angular tom-boy who liked to play all the rough and tumble games, climb trees, pick up worms to prove my bravery and throw them onto the screaming "girly girls". So, when I started to get attention for that back there, I really didn't even know what was back there since I couldn't see it. And I certainly didn't understand what all the attention was for.

Being the youngest of four girls is a funny thing. I look up to my sisters. I really looked up to them as they grew into womanhood. But, I didn't realize the same growth would happen to me. Watching my sisters was like watching movie stars; they had something that would never be part of my life, it couldn't, I reasoned. It seemed to be invisible to me. Besides, it never dawned on me how similar we each were physically. Yes, people have commented on how much we look alike, but I only focused on our facial similarities. I never thought about our similarities below the neck. For a sistah who read most of the time, I was humorously quite ignorant!

All through my teens, twenties and such, I still never really focused on my physical self. My Body was simply the vehicle to carry my eyes and brain around as I watched all that was going on. Sure, I certainly enjoyed my share of physical activity both intimate and athletic, but I never have ever truly focused on ME, physically. Don't ask me why, but suddenly, this shell I live in and its physicality is fascinating to ME! I'm enjoying myself and my time as if I've discovered the fountain of youth and a new toy! And Boy oh Boy, what a JOY!! So, hit it Diana - I'm coming OUT! I want the world to know, I have to let is show!

You know I couldn't resist uTube. I tried to embed - but Blogger or uTube is trippin' so, if u feel the desire to enjoy some vintage Diana in Central Park click: Boss Lady! It's a great concert, really.