Last Saturday I joined several seasoned sistah friends to provide comfort & healing for one who had just cleaned her home of a relationship. As the elders say - when you do good for others you get good in return. One of the sistahs READ me & I know that I needed to hear it. Some of you may be surprised to learn that my swagga has been teetering on stagga. But, I am thankful for new beginnings and opportunities to reclaim my swagga!
When I moved to NYC in 2001 The Creator had this amazing Sistah take me in until I could find my own place. She gently shared that I was hiding - although she used different terminology. As I posted on Sunday, three years ago I talked to this Brother Andrew Morrison at my church and he also gently shared his observation that I seemed to be hiding even though I am out in plain sight. In hindsight, Brother R. Fitzgerald said similar regarding why I'm a challenge for brothers - but I wasn't getting it. Well, the sistah who read me stated exactly how she observed me hiding out in the open - cuz I haven't been hearing the gentle nudgings of those before her. She stated: 1) that she could tell I had been hurt in past relationships and that it's time to let that go (I thought I had - but apparently not!;-). 2) Despite my training that good sistahs "don't" - it's okay to get to know more than one man at a time (just play safe!;-). And 3) She gave me specific actions for coming out of hiding (Thanx - I NEEDED that!)! Then I stopped by Clnmike's blog on Sunday and he's posted a Deal Breaker list that speaks loud & clear!
Ok, Creator - I GET it! I need to step out on faith in a different way than I have been. All of my cocky rantings have not been reflected in my actions toward myself. So, my mantra (& my actions) for 2009: Time to Step INTO the light that is MINE (no more shadow boxing)!!
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6 Comments:
Gurl, get yo SWAGGA!
Wow! I feel ya. I am reading a book called The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate by Linda Dominique Grosvenor. I have tried to read it more than once but I stop because I get stuck on the parts I am guilty of doing. It is hard to come out of "hiding". Godspeed to you.
OH sh*t...there must be something in the air! I was talking about confidence...swagger today on the my show and on my blog!
Yea...we got this! Swagga!
I wonder how much that bit of time in uniform played into the "swagga deficit?" Remember your observations about the sheer amount of men who were on the make or hiding spouses and significant others to get next to you? I know it played into your lack of trust for men in uniform briefly, but did it do more damage, quiet damage hidden deep below the surface?
Miz - u KNOW i AM! ;-)
Shai - thanx :-)
Love - I enjoyed listening 2 your episode! ;-)
NewCed - I'm sure it didn't help matters;-) ... now it's time for me to work this thang OUT!
Kindred.. u are the most Positive, hardworking Sistah I know. I miss so much being in your presence -ya know it's been a year... Listen to the Creator and you will never fail.
Luv Ya... :-)
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